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Question

I really need help I am getting worse into my depression, and he just keeps messing with me to make me cry yet i will still hope for his love. basicly i have no pride left whatsoever. I cant think of ever being with anyone else and i woke up today having horrible thoughts. my anxiety made me difficult during our four years but he loved me despite all that and its not like he was perfect. now hes out of town working and he wont talk to me at all with no warning and he wants me to hurt hes making cry through ims and texts wtf? I thought he at least loved me enough to not want me to hurt anymore than i already am. what is wrong with men and should i try to hurt him back this is all bs im going crazy

Answer 1

Aww. I went thru this over the summer break last year. And I'm telling you, fr. female to female, the best thing I did was leave him, and in this case that's what I think you should do. Im not even going to lie, it took alot out of me to leave him! Just like your dude he made me feel bad and yet still I gave him chance after chance cause I thought that he would change and that it was just a phase... Unfortunately, it was'nt a phase, this was the real him. A rough, heartless, mean person that put others down to make him feel better. That's not even the worst of it! I thought he was the one for me SOOO much that I went against my family, ALL FOR HIM! My family turned against me cause they wanted me to not be with him so bad! Back then I didnt understand why they kept on acting like that but now I see. They were just looking out for me. And even though I dont know you, I, looking out for you too because I know how it feels to be where your at right now. It feels as if the whole world has turned against you. And that he's the only one who loves you. (Or at least thats how it felt to me!) Thats not true, after you leave him your eyes will be open again and you'll be able to see who really loves you and those are the people that tried to warn you about him. The best thing you can do is leave him. When I left my boy, at the time I felt like I had made a HUGE mistake, but after I start realizing all the other people in life that is there for me and that have my back thru thick & thin, there was really no point for him being in my life. Boys can only give you so much joy for so little time, but what will you do when that joy turns into pain? Or when he leaves you? Your back to the depressed you again? That's not how it's suppose to be. NEVER let a dude determine how your day is going to be or how you look at the world! You should never even look for happiness in boys, this is kinda old school but, the true happiness lies within yourself. If you feel good about yourself, you wont care what NO ONE thinks about you. See how much you can gain if you leave him? Dont worry ok? The right one for you will come along ok? Dont ever let a dude make you question how much your worth! Im sure your a very sweet person that's just feel into one of the traps that most fall into. It's not your fault. But listen, the best part of breaking up with him is the fact that he WILL want you back! That's what happened to me and he STILL is asking for another chance and what do you think I said? NO! Once he breaks your heart he'll always find another way to do so, so why go thru it? Yeah it makes you stronger but other than that its just causing you great pain. I hope a lesson from my experiences help you! Just remember to stay strong!

Answer 2

to start w i do agree that you should maybe seek some professional help on this. if you do have a chemilcal inbalnce(which is perfectly ok and normal fo a large percentage of the population)Then maybe you could be put on some anti depressants that could help clerify the iirrational feelings and make thing easier to cope w/. Now i am not going to tell you to loose this guy since well you have a lot of time invested in this realtionship and you obviously love him . If you did not it wouldnt hurt so much and well love hurts sometimes. I have been in abusive relationships both mentaly and physicly so i can understand your pain. Now the question is...Do you see potential happiness for the future w this guy? Weathet it be a week a month a year from now? Do you feel it is worth fighting for?Be honost w yourself? If the answer is yes well then you need to fight for what you want. Nothing good in life is free or is it rarely easy! Now if you do not see potential for you 2 as a couple well then you have answered yyour own delima. Also you have to remember most(not all)guy are not good emotions theirs or others. It is very hard to watch another person cry or feel pain for them. Alot of men(again not all) tend to get scared and do the oppisite of what we nee since they are unable to cope w the thought of the person they love is in pain. For example you say he is hurting you via txt and im well it could very well be cos he does not know what to say or do so therfor he clams up and doesnt want to talk about it in hopes that it will all blow over and doesnt realize that what he is doing is only fueling the flames. Most men do not think like females! Hence the old they are from mars and we are from venus thing.I would say more then anything you need to be honost w yourself in what you want out of all this and is it possible or is it all a fantasy. If you can not be honost w yourself how can you expect change? Again i do think you should consult a professional for the depression it could be the best move you ever made and there is NO shame in it. Good luck sweetie i wish you the best and hope i helped a little bit!

Answer 3

1. Take a capsule of St. John's Wort.

2. Find someone you can talk to in your town. It's all very well to get it off your chest by writing all that stuff to us here on the Internet, but you need good two-way communication with a sympathetic ear. A priest or minister if you go that way; a doctor if necessary.



I won't bother telling you that you need to give up on this guy and find someone else, because you probably already know that, but have found it impossible. But have you thought about the fact that your being so miserable all the time may be driving him away from you? He wants to be close to a cheerful lady, not a weepy one. If there is any hope for this relationship at all (which, frankly, I doubt), it will have to be you pulling yourself together and being a sweety when he gets back to town.



Good luck and God bless!

Answer 4

I've got two words for you sister, RESTRAINING ORDER.

okay so maybe not that far yet. But girl you have got to leave his *ss. Anyone who makes you feel the way he's making you feel is not worth your time. Girl next time he im's or texts you, do not even read it. Honey you have got to give yourself some credit,we all have flaws yours just happens to be anxiety. He should be more understanding and help you work thru it and not just "put up with it". He doesn't sound like the one for you. Think back and try and figure out why you really stayed in this relationship. Is it because all your friends were in one to? Or that you fell into a comfort zone and just don't want to look for someone else? Are you scared to be alone? Do you love him? or are you in love with him? This will be a great time to re-evaluate!! Take time for yourself.

Answer 5

u should forget about the guy. its normal to want love from someone that used to love u and doesnt really seem like it anymore. u dont need this. get a good friend. if u ever need anyone to talk to my emails- [e-mail]. i actually have a friend that went through depression and is recovering. i would love to help. u should get rid of the guy. he's not worth ur time. focus on something else. like ur relationship with God or with another friend. keep ur mind off of him. satan can come in all ways. God loves u and the guy is definetly not doing u any good. if none of what i say does u any good u seriously should seek perfesional help. i'm sure that u've heard this all the time but if u dont want this guy to hurt u anymore u have to. in order for it not to hurt u have to do something. ur better then him. dont stoop down to his level either. he's just a...well u no what and he obviously has serious problems too. i'll pray that guy backs off. and dont seek revenge because u'll just be doing exactly what u hate. good luck.

Answer 6

Sounds to be like he's overwhelmed with your condition and he is giving up. With any relationship, you are supposed to add to eachother's life not take away. If he has emotionally battered you to the point of no self esteem then it's time for you to get out and get help. No one deserves to feel this way. Once you are able to love yourself you can then think about sharing that love with someone else..Sometimes the fear of being alone is mistaken for love...Ultimately the decision is yours but don't you think you owe it to yourself to be well, live well and loved well...

Answer 7

There's no stigma with seeing a therapist. Do that, so you can start to get a handle on your emotions. Don't try to hurt him back -- be the better person. Don't be so dependent on love from a man. Your first priority should be to take care of yourself.

Answer 8

No you shouldn't try and hurt him back!! That does nothing but hurt you in the end!! I would just let him go....I know its not easy, but its not worth the pain! You should also try getting some help for the depression!

Answer 9

First of all, I know it is easy to say but don't allow your health, mental or otherwise be affected by someone else. Sometimes people try to control others they know they can. Don't let him, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he is controling and hurting you. Change your IM....get out there, meet new people. The best revenge is living well.

Answer 10

I don't know why you would want to stay with someone that made you feel that bad about yourself. That is an abusice relationship, pleain and simple. Not physical, but mental. And the after-effects will be with you longer than physical scars. Cut your losses and move on. You are better than that.

Answer 11

this is real simple. listen real carefully: ONLY YOU CAN HELP YOU. leave this abusive bastard now. and no more contact w/ him ever for ANY reason. you will soon develop a feeling of self respect after doing the right thing.. also you should see a Dr about the depression ... this you can not cure yourself of . but you can cure yourself of this very sick "boy friend"... and if you dont, stop complaining to us about it he will NEVER CHANGE< NEVER. if you stay with him you'll wined up on the evening news.

Answer 12

the only thing that will ever make you feel better is to get rid of him. there are many people out there who would love you. start with your family.

you probably need to try some professional help as well. maybe make an appointment with your doctor. he/she can get you on the path to getting your life back into order.



good luck!

Answer 13

You said he was you first love. FIRST. Meaning more to come. How will you know when a guy is there waiting for you if you're focused on someone who doesn't matter anymore? Go jogging and clear your head. Then stop all contact with this loser, and go have fun!

Answer 14

leave him. don't hurt him, just leave him and don't give a reason, and excuse, anything. just leave while he's gone and don't look back. no man that treats a woman like that should be allowed to have one. you don't have to jump into the dating game, just give yourself some time and definitely some space to get yourself together. you should also seek help for your depression since that can lead to many bad thoughts. i've been there myself.

Answer 15

wow, you must be my twin in another place, because my bf of 4 years just broke up with me like 4 days ago, and like i was depressed through out those 4 years with him liek exactly your situation all crying and he just runs away. Yeah they both just need to grow up and they are just trying to figure out what they want to do in there own lives and cant handle trying to take care of a girl right now. dont do anyhting stupid like try to get back at him itll just make you feel dirty u just need to do things that make you feel better about yourself, trust me theres other men out there, ill always unconditionally love him but you need to relize he needs to move on, therefore you must move on, itll prolly be hard for a while but dont isolate yourself you gotta get out and rediscover your friends and so far the single life has been real exciting, like im so fine with it its scary, but I just decided this is a celebration of a new life, im going to therepy and taking antidepressives it seems to be helping you really need to take control of your life and know living like that isnt right and you cant go on ignoring it i sympathise with you sister, but i got out to a couple of parties and the boys are all over me, but i suggest you just stay single for a while afterward dont just run right into another relationship because youre lonely WOOHOO its a new life

Answer 16

i think u should set him straight i hope u will get threw ur deppresion and if he isnt talkin to u and makin u cry that means he doesnt love u theres plenty of fish in the sea and u betta go fishin and talk to ur friends remember friends are golden and men r stink bombs

Answer 17

No you should be the bigger person by letting it go.I know it hurts but you have to remember that he is the one missing out and not you. As long as you let him know that what he is doing is bothering you then the more he will continue to bother you.So pick yourself up and do something that makes you happy.

Answer 18

this person does not love you. you need to get rid of him and find someone who really truly cares about you. if he is sending you im and texts that he knows will make you cry he is just being nasty and you should never talk to him again after you tell him you never want to talk to him again.

Answer 19

it's all in the mind. know your self-worth. don't let anyone

abuse you in any way. love yourself. if you don't know how

or can't distinguish which is loving thy self, i can tell

you that this, what you're going through right now, is NOT it. try not to think of this guy by diverting your

attention to productive things. you may be reminded of him

in almost everything that you do, places you go, things

you say, people you know, but BE STRONG. tell yourself

YOU'RE STRONG. YOU'RE THE BIGGER MAN (figuratively, of course). seek strength from God. be happy.

Answer 20

u shouldnt try to hurt him back then that would make u as worse as he is just call leave a message and just forget about it move on with ur life and just be urself!

Answer 21

sweety just dont talk to him if u do laugh and act happy so he dont know that he is getting to u i have dperession and when my man use to do that to me it would make me wanna die or something then i got some advice from a smart woman my momma she told me to act happy even if my heart was breaking and u know it worked just talk bout stuff that makes u happy when he strats acting that way or if have to tell lil white lies i dont that and my man stoped doing that now we get along percetly



good luck

Answer 22

I know it's hard. It's not your fault. But you will feel better one day. You need to be talking to real humans, friends family and a therapist, rather than yahoo answers.

Answer 23

Any guy who takes advantage of you this way kmowing full well what your condition is and then compounds it by intentionally taunting you. That's just wrong. Yes, you should make him feel worse for it. Screw his best friend.

Answer 24

ok, first of all, dont say there's something wrong w/ men just bcos ur guy is a total ***, but for all we know, you could be making him miserable and maybe thats why he's such a ********, or maybe he's not at all and thats just ur depression talking.

Answer 25

Visit a psychatric doc

Answer 26

You know in your heart you need to leave. Now it's up to you. If you choose to stay and be miserable it's on you, and people will tire of your whining. Either leave or deal with it.

Answer 27

Ask yourself this question..

Why am I letting him have control over MY emotions?



Take control of your life, seek counseling and meds to control your depression and get you life away from this uncaring man.

Answer 28

SAME THING HERE MY AUNTY HIS HUSBEND ABUSES HER AND HE IS ALWAYS OUT OF TOWN OR DRINKING LIKE CRAZY SHE DOSENT UNDERSTOOD THE PROBLEM SHE BLAMES BEAR WELL SHE GOT PISSED OF AT DEVORSED HIM AFTER BEING WITH HIM FOR 17 YEARS

ALL U CAN HOPE TO DO IS MOVE ON MY ADVISE

Answer 29

I think you should talk to a good friend or your parents and let them know what your going thru and see what they suggest

Answer 30

Just relex for a couple of days....I am sure everything is gonna be OK. Cheers

Answer 31

Get rid of him, then get a life and then go see a shrink.

Answer 32

Give him some space. He's feeling stalked.

Answer 33

you should dump him and find someone else theres nothing wrong with men its just the way he is find someone else

Answer 34

why should you be suffering, leave his candy ***, you will fall in love with someone else I guarantee it,

Answer 35

Honestly, you're better of without him.

Answer 36

Forget him....not easy, but forget him!

Answer 37

you should leave men and become a l*sbian...or bisexual at least!!!

Answer 38

forget about it

Answer 39

call me i will handle it