Question:
can you help someone who is addictive to drugs?
star
2007-08-27 12:51:43 UTC
my mom has been addicted to meth for almost my whole life.
she got pregnant when she was 37 with my lil bro... he has down syndrome- i am 16 and my lil bro is now 4 i have raised him ever sence he was born because she can't handle it i gues it's too hard for her.... she has a really bad drug problem and i have tried to help her sooo much i tried to make her go to rehab i got her to go but she only lasted 6 days. i really want to help her out on get off the drugs because my bro needs her and so do i but is it possible for me to help her if she is so spun she dosn't want to help herself....
ok i have never done meth and so i don't know how it effects her but i know it effects me! it's like she dosn't realize what she is doing to herself or others. i have heard that the drug is so intense you don't even realize whats going on like the way a sober person see's life is way diff. from when you do meth. let alone she slams it...
running out of room to write. but please help!!!
Ten answers:
Dreams
2007-08-27 12:59:12 UTC
You need to call child services immediately! Talk to a teacher at school, or anyone who can get you help. You and your brother are in a dangerous situation. If you get help for yourself your mother may see that she needs to help herself. You can not force people to change just step up and defend yourself and hope and pray that they will see the error of their ways. Maybe if you and your brother are taken away from her she will see what she is doing to you and it will prompt her to change her ways. Either way you need to be in a safer location! Meth is a very dangerous substance. Especially if you are living with or close to people who make it. My brother ( a meth addict ) ended up shooting someone trying to break into his house over a drug issue. For your brothers and yours sake get yourselves out of there!



edit-

If you dont see her for weeks then she is neglecting you. You should call again and again until the child services will do something to protect you and your brother. Your brother needs a lot more help than you can give him with his disability. Plus you have the right to be a kid yourself, not having to raise your little brother. The next time she dissapears and you "dont see her for weeks" call child services. If they shut the case again.. do it again the next time she dissapears. Make sure you are being honest with them about everything she does. The drugs, the abandonment, everything. Every time she is high on meth she is abusing you and your brother. Weather she hits you or just neglects you, it is abuse. You both deserver better and if she see's you really making an honest effort to make a better life for you and your brother maybe she will decide she needs to do the same.



You cant change her. You can only make things better for yourself.
2007-08-27 20:10:19 UTC
Hey sweetie, I am sorry this is your life. I am a recovered meth addict. It is a very, very hard road. I did it w/o rehab, but I had to seperate my self from all of the people and places that were part of that world. I went out of state to be w/family for some time.



I had to hit my rock bottom a few times. i did not realize as you said that things were they way they were. You think you are on top of things even if you know that you have a problem.

I knew I had a problem, and I did not care. It took being evicted from my home with every thing I owned sitting in the yard with out any where to go. Everything I owned ended up in a dumpster behind my home. That is what my life had become. All 95 pounds of me. I went almost two years w/o seeing my then only son. I now have a beautiful life.



Have you tried taking her to Narcotics anomynous.

I wish I had a more solid answer for you.



You should remove yourself and little brother from the situation asap. People that are spun can do very strangre things. She may see people that are not there (I called them shadow people), she may become very paranoid and think the whole world is against her. She may become voilent.

It is so important that you kids not be in this anymore. I hope you have family members or other trusted adults you can go to . If not find a local helpline for teens. I wish i could really help you.



Good luck, and god bless you and yours.

by the way I have been clean 4 years now and have 2 more fantastic kids. People can come back from that
2007-08-27 20:05:35 UTC
Firstly. You've been very brave posting on this board and I hope people can offer you the best advice.



The fact is that you can't help somebody to come off drugs. It's something THEY have to want. All you can do is try and support them when they need help.



But now for you. You're 16 years old and your brother 4. The fact you've had to look after him for the last 12 years is really a level of neglect and as your brother gets older you'll find it harder and harder to cope. You need help. Because if you don't; it could be an ever greater tragedy around the corner.



Do you have no other relations you can ask for help from? I suspect not.



It's hard to offer advice because I don't even know in which country you live. In the UK, your mother would be able to get help and you and your brother would be supported via foster care / home help.



Asking for help doesn't mean loosing your Mum or betraying her. She needs help to see what's happening to you all. If you don't want to involve help from a Government body, perhaps a talk to a religious leader might help. Even if it just to talk out your options.



Whatever the case. You need to think about yourself and your brother first and foremost.



I have nothing but sympathy for your situation and admiration for your strength and personal commitment to both your brother and your poor Mom.
littlesister121
2007-08-27 20:01:13 UTC
do you have any family members who you can live with? I have been thru this problem with both parents, however i got lucky and it was one at a time. IF you do have a family member who can take u and your brother in, you should get a part time job (to help the family member with the expenses) And let your mom know that this is the last straw and she has to choose you or the drugs. Let her know that your serious and if she does choose the drugs she will not be able to see or talk to you and your brother untill she can get clean and prove it. I am very sorry for your situation and wish i could help more....good luck, and stay strong, your brother needs u.
Chimichanga to go please!!
2007-08-27 20:03:05 UTC
First thing I would do is to contact Nar-Anon. They are a group like AA which can help people affected by the drug abuse of a loved one. Here is their link:

http://www.nar-anon.org/naranongroups.htm

Please give them a try and get some support. You are too young to be having to raise your brother and help your mother. It is HER job to raise you both and to be the mother she needs to be and to get her life together.



Also, contact ARC (The Association for Retarded Citizens). They may be able to provide some resources as well. Their link is:

http://thearc.org/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?&pid=183&srcid=-2



My brother had Down's Syndrome. I know how loving such people are, but I also know how difficult it can be to take care of and raise a person with Down's Syndrome. These individuals deserve all the love, caring and support they can get. Please contact the link above and see if they can help.



Finally, I would encourage you to talk to a trusted adult friend or family member and see if there is something they can do to help. I know you love your mother, or you wouldn't want to help her so much. Still, as your mother, she is neglecting you and your brother because of her drug habit. She needs help. It is not your job to help her. It is HER job to realize she has a problem and to seek to help herself. An adult friend, family member, teacher, counselor, or even Child Protective Services can help you to get your mother to seek the help she needs and to stick with it, if she is willing.



I wish you all the best. Your brother is blessed to have a wonderful sister such as you and your mother is blessed to have you for a daughter. You show a lot of maturity for your years and I applaud you.
*DiZzLe*
2007-08-27 19:59:37 UTC
i have a lot of (old) friends who are addicted to meth. I've never tried it myself.. but i DO know the consequences of using it. For example, my friend Dan has been hooked since he was 14 yrs old (now 28) and he has a warped view of the world. I think he still sees things from a 14 yr old's point of view. He has 4 children and doesnt see any of them (let alone pay support) and he has no job and no house. He bums off of his other methhead friends and doesnt see any of his family. It's a terrible drug to get hooked on. I'm so sorry for your predicament. If you need someone to talk too, email me! once a person is so far gone on this drug.. i dont think there's any coming back.
GMONEY
2007-08-27 19:59:01 UTC
I feel your pain my dad was an alcoholic,I hope u dont take this the wrong way but i lost my best friend to meth,sometimes people just get too deep,no one can help until they hit rock bottom.I commend u for your strength i also will pray,just stay real and when mom wants to trully stop she will,make sure u are there when the time comes.If u ever need to talk or just vent i will be here.
Lianne
2007-08-27 20:02:16 UTC
try to make a video of her life when she was younger and free to drugs and the days when your all happy together,, and put also the pictures and video of your life right now, now that shes already addicted in drugs, and all the bad things happened..

and put on some sad music..

and watch it with her and tell her everything you wanted to tell her..



hope it helps you, but if it still don't you should make her go to rehab.. she really needs it..
Manny
2007-08-27 19:57:08 UTC
Unfortunately you can't help someone until they want help. You're mom will have to hit bottom and be there for a little bit before you'll be able to help her. Best of luck with your life and getting out of there.
Seph2
2007-08-27 19:57:09 UTC
Don't give her money to buy drugs.


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