why do i compare myself with my cousins? HELP?

Question

i have a huge problem in terms of what ever i do i compare myself with people. I compare myself with my friends and cousins alot.

My major problem is that i m comparing my boyfriend with other guys like i compare him with my cousin's boyfriend tv actors etcc, now i think he doesnt look that good, and what will people think if they see me with him etcc but i m never happy. Even with my studies i compare with my cousins WHILE my cousins are happy with their lifes, they have dropped out of university, and dating guys and is totally happy with them.

I really like my boyfriend but i dont know why i compare him soo much even though his nice, educated etc! BUT i dont know what my problem is, i so do not like comparing myself and him with people this way i use always be sad cos i m never happy i dont how all of this happened and since when i started to compare but i think i started when i was in high school till now.

whats my problem i am soo sad and depressed pls HELP

Answer 1

You may get answers like

1. dont compare yourself with others

2. you are unique in this world etc. etc.



But i will ask you to think differently which may be even tough to practice but u should not practice it too much as it may lead you to a overdose.



Compare yourself with this country. you will find that you are just another citizen of this country. Compare your country with Russia and you will find that ur country is small. Compare Russia and the world.. you will find russia small. Compare earth and jupiter.. you will find earth as small. Compare jupiter and sun.. you will find jupiter as small . compare sun and the universe. you will find sun as small.. now compare yourself with the universe.. you will find u are nothing in this universe.. and when you feel that you are nothing.. compare all your cousins with universe and u feel that they are just tiny toys in front of the universe.. and in front of universe you find all the emotions,happiness, sadness, enjoyment are nothing. So now u will find that nothing is permanent. everything will change..Just imagine where ur comparison behaviour will go if any of your or all of your cousins go away from you..you see mind is such a powerful thing which man has got. you can do anything you want with ur mind.. and for the mind nothing is impossible . So i wont say that u should stop comparing.. But rather than feeling bad that u are inferior,, think the other way of how to improve your choices.. If u feel that ur cousin is happy but u are sad.. think the way that will make you happy. But dont think the way that will make ur cousin sad. That will end up in problems.. Leave (live) your life as it is.. Take life as it comes. And dont expect anything from anyone.. This alone will make u happy.

Answer 2

It is perfectly natural to compare yourself to others. It is what helps people climb to new heights and really push themselves to their limits.



Part of your problem is just that you focus so much on your worries about this that it only compounds it and makes it seem all the worse. Just take a deep breath, and tell yourself it is okay to compare, it is okay to be jealous.



What I do when it becomes a little overwhelming is I think of the GOOD things I have. For example, I am in college, I am engaged, I have a job with people I like to be around, my father doesn't charge me rent, and I have good friends. This helps me forget everything I wish I had, or how I wish I could be more like other people. You just have to look at the bright side and learn to love what you have and who you are.



Just count your blessings, enjoy the fact you have a boyfriend who loves you, and relax. Stress is your only real problem.

Answer 3

comparable concern with my step sister girly. She's 5'8, one hundred ten pounds (clearly. She basically cant benefit weight to save her life!) And has loooong, appealing, clearly blonde-highlighted brown hair. i'm approximately your top and length. I even have hair somewhat previous my shoulders that cant stand humidity. expensive heavens, she's appealing. yet at some point we've been going swimming and changing in her room and he or she mentioned "i'm hoping you recognize you in no way could drop extra pounds. The issues i could do to be your length. men love that, no longer my tiny physique." It incredibly touched my coronary heart. i found out that no count what, all and sundry has insecurities. I nevertheless have confidence my sister is so lots extra appealing than i'm. yet you're able to locate the failings approximately you that make you experience good!

Answer 4

dear friend, comparison is done to prove ur point ro to get self satisfaction..solution to this is to simply look below the line when find -ve and look above when feel +ve...it will help .i.e incase u feel bad/depressed for some thing..look at ppl who r less prevelidged then u....u will feel contend also incase u feel great look at ppl who have achieve greater heights ..it will b a motivation n boost to u...i it will work ..best luck