Is this bordeline abuse or normal?

Question

behavior in a relationship? I am in great need of your help. I am a wife with two very young kids. I have no family or friends where I live so I really need some helpful answers and suggestions! Please help! Two nights ago, I had an accident in my home and broke my right foot. I was home alone with my kids while my husband was at his father's house "helping him".
I called my husband-which I never do when he is out-for some help. Rather than what I anticipated, my husband told me he was busy talking to his sister and sounded very frustrated. So I waitied until 2AM. When he got home, he never took me to an urgent care but handed me some tylenol and some bandaids. I broke into a fever, and the tylenol never helped. I told him I needed to go see a doctor, but he ignored my pleas. I asked if he could call a paramedic and he said "why? so they can check you out. I'll take you to the doctor tomorrow." The next morning my spouse says he has to take his father to work and would take me later to urgent care. I asked why we couldn't get a taxi for his father since I needed to go to the hospital, all my husband said was "I promised him." I have no friends or relatives so I waited until 4PM when my spouse took me to urgent care. The doctor told my husband I broke my foot, would not be able to drive for 2 months, and would need some help. It's not easy being a mom with a 1 year old and 4 year old with your foot broken. Plus I got a dog who I have to take out to pee. We have stairs everywhere in our house and stairs to get into the house. But I still do the cleaning, cooking, dishes, and pay attention to my kids thanks to pain pills. I do not complain to my husband nor do I ever dare to ask him for a helping hand. Today, I feel really exhausted and can't really go on doing everything myself.
So I asked if we could get a maid to come clean once this month. Just once. The man I once thought was a nice guy told me that I was acting like a "baby", and that "it's just your foot not your arm or ribs", and that "I hope you go to hell." He has been ice cold. He even pointed his finger in my face at me saying " you need to admit you are wrong and admit your a blubbering baby." He then took my kids out to the grocery store, came back, and made dinner. Here's where it hurts. He calls my kids to the table and places their meals along with his. Not mine. Then afterwords, he gives all the table scraps (which we never have done before) to the dog. It's not that I wanted to eat his food, but I don't know why I am treated this way. I will limp into the kitchen and fix me a bowl of cereal. Yet I kinda feel this isn't how people who "love" each other should behave. So what is this? Is this behavior wrong? What would you do? Please help me. I am so sad and angry my foot is broken. I wish I could run away.

PS: He did take his dad to work, but never told him that I had an accident. So I don't think he was with another woman or anything. And since we have been married, he has grown a very big temper -he lashes out -unlike when we were dating.

Answer 1

The fact is, when you become to grow afraid or hesitant about what your spouse's reaction to a situation will be, something is wrong in the scenario. THIS IS ABUSE! You and your husband are a team, as God has set it to be. 50/50 was the basis of marriage, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. his vows have not been kept and if you are being treated poorly your main priority must be YOUR CHILDREN! the ones who will grow up seeing what their father is doing to you. They will grow to think that is a normal family. If the wife messes up she is punished. That will be the mindset of your children if they are to grow up in that environment. I am in NO WAY condemning you!~ Good guys need a break. But the fact is that you can not ask your husband, the man who is suppose to be "one" with you, a question or a concern without being afraid of his reaction. A mans priority should ALWAYS be the health and wholeness of his family. Providing for his family. FEEDING HIS FAMILY. if you are scared to confront, afraid he will hurt you or become severely ill tempered IT IS TIME TO GET YOUR KIDS AND GET OUT! If he hits you and a mark is left immediatly go to the police station and file a report and get a restraining order and leave! These are your obstacles: Your broken leg, the distance from relatives, and your thoughts concerning your childrens relationship with thier father.(personally i would have rather never known my father than be put though the horror of seeing my mother hit by him or mistreated). Call your mother or a friend or relative that could possibly get you out of the situation adn make a plan to leave when you know he will be gone for a while. DO NOT WAIT IT OUT! IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE! Seek God to get you through, put everything in him and i promise you that you will make a better life for yourself and your children than the deprevation you are recieving now.

Answer 2

this isnt normal at all. it sounds like he has some kind of family issues or other problems hes hiding from you, that could explain the frustration. he may have trouble at work or something is financially wrong. men also tend to be more "tough" and he may think you have a minor injury, it is still an injury and he should be considerate to your feelings. i would maybe suggest a couples therapy to help him deal with his anger and so he can communicate what is wrong. i feel very bad for you and hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

IF THIS STORY IS 100% TRUE THEN YEAH THIS BEHAVIOR IS VERY WRONG. I AM A MUSLIM, IM SURE YOU HERE A LOT ABOUT ISLAM ON THE MEDIA WHICH IS ALL A BUNCH OF CRAP, ANYWAYS IN ISLAM THE HUSBAND IS TO SHARE A ROLE IN RAISING THE KIDS, CHORE AROUND THE HOUSE, AND GIVING THE WIFE A HELPING HAND. YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD DEFINITELY HELP YOU NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. I SUGGEST YOU TRY REASONING WITH HIM AND ASK GOD TO GUIDE YOUR HUSBAND TO THE RIGHT PATH. I WISH THE BEST TO YOU AND HOPE YOUR PROBLEM GETS RESOLVED ASAP..

Answer 4

This is wrong he should not be doing this that could be called spouse abuse he is verbally and physically hurting you. You need to find a way to get away from him. The moment he hits you call the cops. Loving people don't act this way.

Answer 5

Hi sweetie, sure that is regarded sexual and verbal abuse as good. Fathers don't seem to be feel to remark on there daughters boob dimension nor must they positioned there palms in your crotch. It's additionally viable that different matters occurred and your repressing them for now. I am a male and survivor of sexual abuse and I am very sorry this needed to occur to you. If you wish to have any one to talk too think loose to click on on my profile and touch me. Therapy could be well for you and your sister and also you particularly must uncover the braveness to inform your mom.

Answer 6

hi sweety, this behaviour is quite normal with guys. In the initial period they used to take care of every bit of u.after some point of time,they tend to lose interst with their wives. there is nothing much u ve to worry about this.there are things u ve to change from ur side too. have u lost interest in bed? if so,then that could be a major reason for this strange behaviour. try to dress upo well.if u have put on weight,try reducing it.present urself very well even wen u r in kitchen.wen he comes back from the office,try to know his mood and talk to him accordingly.don try to pester him for silly things.show ur love towards him.tell him how much u care for him and how much u love him at all possible occassions.

the instances u have said might have not been very serious to him.so he might have overlooked it. or else he might have had any pressure from his father side.try to now whether he is in some problem because of u or wat exactly is the problem.



take care of ur foot.

wish u all success and happiness in ur marriage.

Answer 7

it will heal on its own wit no hospital care but he is not cheating on u he is out tweakin it dat y he is always mad n mayb he is cheating on u



Ps tweak is meth