Question:
is my mother right about these rules for marriage?
lizzy
2012-03-05 22:18:47 UTC
she was saying if u want a man to see u as a wife material dont let him even kiss u on the lips while dating ...stay with him for at least 6 months or a year and than if he really wants you he will put a ring on it?? ..i asked why this? she said because he will later know that u werent the type to go around and and almost fall for everyguy and let them use u...

i was thinking what do u think of her opinion? and whats are ur rules for dating before marriege? how do u make it happen and let the guy know u are the one??
and i was wondering why they say being in a relationship before u get married is not good and wont work?
(im currently dating a guy not as a bf though just getting to know eachother and hanging out)
Eight answers:
James
2012-03-05 22:21:21 UTC
Do what you feel comfortable doing around him, I agree with your mother for staying with him for 6-12 months but never kissing isn't the best idea :|
going_for_baroque
2012-03-05 22:28:21 UTC
There's a very old WWII-type axiom that says, "Why buy a cow when you get free milk?" Of course, the implication is "Why marry a girl if she'll have sex without marriage?" There is some historical validity to this view. More recently, especially since the onset of birth control, this seems unnecessary, since sex can be enjoyable for both people, with the danger of pregnancy mostly gone.



Strangely, among less-educated females, there's been a drastic rise in out-of-wedlock pregnancies. But that's a statistical factor, and may not apply to a single individual- you.



I think those rules were right for your mom. There's also a chance that she *wishes* she'd lived by those rules. You may never know, since any mistakes she's made as a young woman might not be ones she would share with you.



Being in a relationship before marriage will work for some, won't work for others. The choice is far too personal, with far too many variables to say, "Go for it!" or "Be chaste!" The choice will be yours. If you're relatively new to dating, I'd recommend going a bit slower in your decision. For some folks, a first-date sex event is fine. For others, you might be happier to wait a long, long time.



This is a topic you can discuss with the one person to whom your decision makes more difference- your boyfriend. It's one thing to be "easy," and it's another to be "frigid." The two people who will decide don't include anyone here on Y!A or your mom. Think about going slow, but make up your own mind. ... Good luck!!!
schook
2016-12-13 00:17:50 UTC
i would not call her suggestion incorrect, even yet it surely is slightly out dated. in the beginning, i might in no way prefer to marry a guy that i haven't been with and lived with for a rapid time. That way i will know if we are able to have the skill to spend something of our lives together. I type of agree concerning to the not messing around in case you're relationship however---kissing is high-quality however the different stuff desires to attend. additionally, there is not something incorrect with staying with a guy for no less than a 12 months earlier questioning approximately marriage. Even a 12 months is only too short for me. in case you would be with a guy continuously, then there isn't any might desire to hurry into marriage.
hehe
2012-03-05 22:44:32 UTC
ok everyone is entitled to there own opinion, and lets not forget your mom...is a mom. but i wouldn't say shes wrong, but there is no time limit on love and there are no rules for dating its what you feel and what you believe in...many girls these days are all the same and go have one nightstands and its not hard to find girls like that. but your mom want to make sure that the guy your talking to sees who you are and what you are, he should get to know you not your lips and body that stuff is when you have a ring on your finger and you wont feel ashamed or dirty then. and another thing you don't make the guy know your the one, it just happens hun just be yourself be friends get to know him open up SLOWLY and talk about life your beliefs, and all, then slowly you ll feel like hes your best friend and that will grow to care and love and that means your on the same page and many things will be proven then. but ill tell you this its hard to not kiss but if it happens make sure he works for it so he knows that your not easy. good luck sweety i hope the best and i think you guys getting toknow each other is good and then slowly family will be involved and thats when youll know...youll both know.
AlbertaRoberta
2012-03-05 22:23:35 UTC
She seems like a sweet mother, but you can't always follow her rules. You can take her advice, but you are your own person. If you never kiss him, he may think you don't love him, or there is someone else. Do what you want. If you are the one, you both will know. It may not end in marriage, but that is okay. Go with your heart. :)
2012-03-05 22:22:43 UTC
Each to their own. For some people it works for, for others it doesn't. Do what is right for you. I know people who got pregnant at 16, married to their partner and still together 20 years later.
?
2012-03-05 22:25:56 UTC
In your moms day her rules did apply. They don't anymore. However, it still is true that waiting awhile and getting to actually know someone before you have a physical relationship is the best way to have a lasting relationship.
2012-03-05 22:20:29 UTC
we men generally try to avoid marrying women who can't spell properly.


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