My son wants to have sex with me?! What should I do?!?

Question

I didn't know where I was going to go with this, but I needed to get some advice on what I should do about this very odd (and scary!) situation I'm in right now.

I logged online this morning and was browsing the web, reading the news, and going about the usual in my daily life. My son, who is 14 years old, uses the internet a lot, so I monitor what he does every so often. To my chagrin, I found in the bookmarks things he has tried to hide under folders he labelled as "sports" various sex stories, not only that but incest stories about sons and their mothers partaking in sexual activity! Not only that but the list he typed into search engines like Google were extremely repulsive, like "I want to **** my mom!" above all else!

I'm scared of the situation because of the odd things I've found on my computer this morning and I DO NOT approve of it at all! I don't understand why he's like this! I've raised him well so far and he acts like a moralistic young boy! Why would he have sexual feelings towards me, his own mother, when he knows better than that?!

I don't know whether I should confront him or not. I don't want to embarrass him, and I can't let this continue! I'm not so close with my mom or dad, and I divorced my ex husband three years ago.

What should I do?

Answer 1

First of all, he is 14 and in puberty. To your chagrin, I would say that he is simply exploring his sexual identity. I am not saying that wanting to have sex with you is normal, but that is what he is doing.



Also, you are the primary woman in his life. Therefore, as with all men in their seek for a mate, he is going to base what he likes off of his relationship with you. So whether you like it or not, you play a huge role in your sons sexual identity.



So now the big question: what do you do?



My answer is nothing....yet. Monitor him a bit more, but do not do ANYTHING until his actual BEHAVIOR begins to represent and coincide with what you have found. Yes, a lot of this is disturbing, but keep in mind that our ancestors LONG LONG ago, encouraged a semi sexual relationship with your immediate family.

Answer 2

He seems to be taking the concept of the Oedipus Complex to an extreme (with the exception of wanting to kill his father). Sometimes it's normal for kids his age to have fantasies about their mothers (as weird as that may sound). If nothing has happened and he has made no advances toward you, the best thing to do is let it go. You will only embarrass him if you confront him. If, however, he does make a move on you, it would be best to get him psychological counseling since making an advance is A LOT different and a lot more disturbing than the fantasies. In the meantime, talk to a clergyman or see if there are support groups for women in your position. Hope that helps a little. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

It is possible that these are just his fantasies and he might not actually be interested in having sex with you. It could be just his curiosity to know new things. Keep a close eye on him and see if he is trying to look at you in a sexual manner (I heard that woman can tell when men are interested in them by their looks or something) i.e., looking at you by the corner of the eye or while changing dress like that. If he really is looking at you like that, it s better not to confront him directly. Instead, keep him busy with a lot of other things. That should give him less time to think of sex. Help and Make him find a girl friend if need to be! Encourage him to go out with friends and all. If you confront him directly, It ll be really hard on him if he really loves you && doesn t want you to get hurt . Trust me when I say, he can never be the same as before if you do that.

Answer 4

What is normal ?



Like BDSM before "The 50 Shades of Gray" was NOT normal. And what is today after the Cinema Movie ?



Every idiot buys stuff based on the book or movie and want to trie out BDSM. So now it is normal.



I know "some guys" that haved sex with their mother and still have a normal life with a other woman and even own child's which are now grown up and never haved sex with their parent's, like they haved, cause their life was diffrent.



Since when is Love between 2 humans if it is in harmony and without any force, so in a complete mutual understanding, something bad ?



In this days i can be in love with a man as a man. I can even adopte a child as a man falling in love with a man. But if a Mother and here Son show their love to each other (if this is their desire) then it is abnormal and some guys of you want to send the boy, and or the mother, to an doctor ?



If some one ask me then thoes peoples here that want to send the boy, and or his mother, to a doctor should be send to one....

Answer 5

No, whatever you do, do not confront him. And contrary to all the "ew's" and all the other put downs, it is totally normal for your son to be attracted to you. If anything be proud. Would you rather he be unhappy to be seen with you in public? And what is there to be scared of? Would it really be the worst thing in the world if you ended up having sex with him? I can think of a lot of things that are way worse. But if you confront him and make him feel less of a man for his feelings you could turn him in sexual directions you don't want to think about. Accept him, and love him, he is your son, and make sure that no matter what you will always love him.

Answer 6

Wow! I thought I has heard alot of things before (I am a 3rd year Psych student) but this one even makes me uncomfortable. First of all, I would have to say that if you approach him with the info you found, it may actually make the situation worse. Second, don't panic. He may just be curious about sex, which is obviously normal at his age, the part about it being with you is not normal at his age though. I would recommend bringing up the convo about sex in general, leaving out the part about what you saw. See if he responds in a negative way or not (more than just embarassed to talk about sex). If he truly has those feelings towards you then even bringing up the subject should aggitate him more. Possibly (if you're lucky) he might tell you what he is feeling. I definitely recommend continued monitoring of his internet use, in fact if possible there are certain programs that will not allow him to look at things like that. Although he might become suspicious of what you know and why you are suddenly blocking content, he probably won't say anything out of fear. You have to keep in mind that his body and mind are changing drastically. He is trying to navigate his way through these changes and sometimes kids are easily confused. Maybe having him see a therapist wouldn't be such a bad idea either. You can tell the therapist what you saw and they can use that info to assess the situation as it stands. I hope this was helpful but having a son myself and being a single mom myself, I got a little uncomfortable thinking about how to handle it. I again want to say that I think confronting him is the wrong plan. Teens don't even want their parents knowing they have sexual feelings at all much less ones that are "not normal". Sometimes fantasies are just fantasies, and while they make you uncomfortable, they may be completely harmless. If you do not take him to therapist, watch his general behavior with peers. Does he appear interested in girls his age? Boys and men also have strong tendency to seek out women that remind them of their mother, especially if they feel very close to her. I know this might sound harsh but maybe try distancing yourself from him a little and try promoting more peer interactions anyway you can.

Answer 7

Be on time for dates and follow through with promises. The hardest thing to build is trust and it’s the easiest thing to lose. Learn here https://tr.im/lwUCD

Calling the day after a first date falls under this category. You don’t have to talk for hours. Just call and thank her for the date; tell her you had a good time and that you look forward to seeing her again. It’s that simple. That’s all women need to hear. Hell, if it’s something you would do after a job interview, shouldn’t you at least do it for a woman you’re interested in.

Answer 8

My son cried in shame and confusion about his sexual feelings towards me, his mom, he's 17.....this is by no means a joke....he is devastated and I'm seriously concerned....I'm sorry but when it comes to my child's well being and knowing how this is making him feel I don't think ignoring or encouraging the thoughts is sane or even legal for that matter....we r responsible for our kids health...I'm gonna do whatever it takes to help my son understand his feelings and get through it together....invade that computer it's our job...he's the child here....he may just be to ashamed.... please talk to him....I wish my son had told me sooner so I could help him sooner....

Answer 9

Most video games, popular music, movies, favorite Tv programs are a branches of the multiple way to direct complete societies to certain direction sometimes resulting in (wild behavior) and more likely to keep people in an state of mental disturbance, this way you will be under the influence... you know has socioeconomic implications, more compulsive persons more good life for the ones who really know how to use their mind in the productive way...the decision is your do or not to do that's simple question?

Answer 10

Do not confront him. He may never get over it if you do. At this age he is mixing up love with sex. This will or should pass. Do not be over protective of him. Let him get out there and do what the other guys are doing. At the moment there is nothing abnormal with your son. Remember many of our sexual fetishes result in nothing and we grow out of them. Give him space, understanding and stop looking at his porn. If you found him it's likely he can find you.

Answer 11

Its a test.

If he's smart enough and what you say is true. He is testing you to see if your spying on him or to play a prank or get back at you fkr something.

So couple options one let him get one over on you this time so it seems you know and you can see his plans ahead.

Two back off him mom and give him space. Buy him a pc for "SCHOOL" and place restrictions on your router.

Three my favorite play the game he is playing and start seducing him. If it goes and backfires dont come yelling at me. If youre both feeling it by then well hey there you go. I would probably just have a talk if he's into it but dont get too deep this may be suicidal literal, if approached wrong.

Answer 12

you must be a very hot mom no offense intended your name says it all .your her mom you are the parent you decide to have sex with him or not. hes into you ahora you can bang him he must be fantasizing about you all day and 14 aint big deal where i live because of the sexist culture but from what i read you dont like the behavior you don't need to have sex with him. also hes not doing anything to you at all hes probably anticipating to have sex with you when he grows up. my advice to not let him watch those things it can damage his behavior in the coming future. one thing is when the adult wants to have sex with a child but when is the other way around when the child wants an adult then its different perspective. i used to have a girlfriend when she was 14 and i was 20. my advice is to not hardcore sex but the softcore like fondling and kissing then when he turns legal age wait until the interest he has in you. its what i did to my girlfriend kissing her and fondling but i never had sex with her so i suppose by 18. she doesn't regret it. no was on porn its not softcore for me its anything without penetration dont worry hes almost in his climax of puberty where a guy his age can actually orgasmed by masturbating.

Answer 13

it is weird but you should confront him. get it out in the open an have a conversation with him about why he has this on the computer. its going to be embarrassing but your an adult and he needs to behave like one. if you dont discuss it it'll just be on your mind alll the time and you'll end up stressing over it and maybe making yourself ill.



and if he does want to sleep with you you need send him to see someone. he shouldnt be having them feelings towards you and you need to find out why he does. he probably wont tell you, cos teens just dont, so send him to a professional but talk to him first. it'll make you feel so much better when you do. the worst that could happen is he says he wants you and thats helpful cos u can help him get better

Answer 14

Hahhha, I was reading some comments are really horrible. Sex with own mother !!!!! Never can be true. its just boyish things. No one does it in real life. Even internet is crap. Those people admitting they had sex with Son or mother all rubbish. Because they got nothings but seducing people. Even stories are all fantasies.

Answer 15

Now that he is 14, just fiddle him till he grows big. Wait for another 5 - 6 years, let him grow up to be adult. Then you can safely enjoy sex with him at home. It is very safe and secure.

Answer 16

I think you should not be so surprised! Geez. He is a young boy beginning to explore this area of life. Get a grip, it's a phase, just leave him alone unless it progresses much further, into real life(if that makes sense). But really it's a phase to be interested in such things. It'll tone down eventually. This is normal.

Answer 17

Have you thought about the fact that he may want to have sex with a mother figure - but NOT actually you? He has love for you, which is maybe what he wants in a sexual experience, but do not think that it may be actually you he wants to have sex with.

Answer 18

I would have loved it if this had been me, so if it had been me I would have taken him up on it. Nothing is so special as the love of a son for his mother and this is just another way of shoowing it.

Answer 19

I was 13 and started having sexual feelings for my mom. I told her and she told me to wait. She went upstairs. Came down with a condom. Only had a bra and panties on. She handed me the condom. Sucked my dick and then i ****** her in the pussy. And now we have sex every week when my dad goes to work

Answer 20

From what I learned by Dr. Joyce brothers.(I believe)...Is that some boys are attracted to their mothers. You may need to get him to a mental health clinic...But when he finds his first girlfriend he will forget all about the mother thing I hope. Just stand your ground...let him know (If he makes advances) that you will not stand for it and if he trys anything you may call the police. No, don't confront him...he may be just trying to impress some friends on the web.



Best wishes to you!

P.S. I have a 15 year old boy.

Answer 21

I was 14 when I seduced my mom. We went on to have a beautiful love affair for the next 40 years. It ended when she died. In fact mom was 75 when she died and 4 days before she passed I spent the afternoon in the bed with her. But back to your problem. You should put on a nice dress, have dinner, go to the den and sit down on the couch together. lean against him or lean against one arm and prop your feet in his lap and let him rub your legs. Talk about how he feels and see how you feel as he tries to seduce you. You might even give him some pointers. Let him seduce you and show you how he feels and tell you how he feels and then decide if you want your son for a lover. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how you feel by the time the night is over. Your son wants to replace your divorced husband. He loves you.

Answer 22

I think, you should try to do it with your son. because it is a tremendous pleasure for men. and also a separate fantasy for men. moreover it up to make you pregnant, of course it is an achievement for a man. because he felt like a true stud. do not be a hypocrite, because as you age, the name lady still has NEEDS. namely sex, vagina you would have got multiple orgasms as they should. you have a RIGHT to get SEXUAL PLEASURE like other young women. Do not worry about your bad words. ENJOY YOUR LIFE, make love to your SON. to you it may seem strange, but it might be able to try as many out there who try it. and other mothers feel addictive as it gets pleasure from young male penis. young men have the higher sex drive. remember!!! forget your ex-husband. start fantasizing wildly. make your son feel like a REAL MAN. once again, make him feel like a REAL MAN. consume chocolate when you both are in bed when after orgasm, chocolate makes you recover stamina. consume eggs and meat barbeque with black pepper several hours before sex. do not forget to consume drinks containing protein and calcium, it makes you be harmonious. Gym dispatch your son, make him be athletic, it will make you more excited. If your son is working, ask him to make a commitment to your marriage vows. The French state legalized it. good luck and good luck. I hope you can get pregnant and have a child from him and happily living in France.

Answer 23

Hi, I'm Laura a 43 year old married mom. I'm having the same situation with my 15 yr old son, Ken. I'm [e-mail]

Answer 24

It's completely normal for a a boy to be sexually attracted towards his mother and it's normal for a girl to be sexually attracted towards her father during puberty.(Sigmund Freud has done plenty of research into it)



Further, he might just be attracted towards the idea of having sex whit his mother, whiteout wanting to have sex whit you.(He likes the IDEA, but would not want to do the action(having sex whit you))



I see your hesitation, but you might be sending him signals whiteout you being aware of it, in outer words you want to have sex whit him.(less likely, but possible)



As for what you should do, you should do nothing, as long as he isn't trying to have sex whit you there is no reason to be alarmed.

One thing you should stop doing though is spying on him. (Stalker)

Answer 25

Madam you have committed a grave insult to your son by not respecting his privacy, and now you MUST deal with YOUR created problem.

I recall a school pal who used to make comments about my single Mum being hot stuff and if I wasn't sleeping with her, why not? It made me ridicule him as a sex crazed idiot, but also made me curious about me having sex with mature single women who may well be sex deprived and very vulnerable. This all made me wonder about my Mum who I realised was still pretty attractive. It is all fantasy like the dozens of other fantasies that young teens wild imaginings produce. Elementary boyish curiosity will not lead to anything other than a feeling of shame when he confronts his lying friend and discovers he was being teased. It would be a very different scenario if your son was eighteen and still interested in you and his feelings were reciprocated. There are too many stories of besotted Mums leaving their husbands to rent an apartment near their sons University and so on. But a young teen probably does not know anything about the word incest or even less about the consequences of it being illegal at his age.

I have always felt that the only way to live happily is to be honest and open. I firmly believe you must admit your guilt at spying on him. You were curious and trying to protect him and you are very sorry you did it. Tell him about the word incest and that it is illegal and could get you into serious trouble entailing possible imprisonment for you and him being placed into care. You must tell him you love him as a Mother, and know its only boyish curiosity. You must grovel and apologize several times. Tell him you are sorry you came across his browsing from your own curiosity which was equally as wrong as his. It would be a tragedy if you either of you allowed this curiosity to flourish further. This must end with your own promise to allow him privacy and your son must agree to stop any ideas of incest, for both of your sakes. He will be horrified and rightly angry at your snooping. Apologize profusely but you must confront him and ask him if he ever seriously entertained any idea of the pair of you engaging in sex, and obviously tell him that he is under age and even if you both wanted to be intimate it sadly can never happen. He wants to learn all about sex and who better to teach than his Mum who loves him. To a schoolboy such answers seem simple so STOP blaming your son and look to yourself and even if you are sympathetic to a loving son who is living in turmoil of burgeoning sex needing relief maybe three to six times a day, bursting into and disrupting his life is very hard for a sexy youngster to deal with and not so uncommon for a Mother to assist in his relief by bathing him or accidentally leaving some unwashed panties and lingerie around for him to play with. Some even use hands on milking to reduce the tension that otherwise would dominate their lives together. Everyone has different sexual levels of conscience and decency. A recent English Mum openly demonstrated breast feeding her thirteen year old child. The moral is:- Don't you uncover problem's unless you are fully prepared to deal with them. Be brave, be prepared to grovel, and with love between you can give your problem air and you both will get it over it and be closer for it.

Answer 26

Yu shuld ask him to have sex wid Yu...soon..if it goes like this he would probably take a wrong step.,so have it mother son relationship is gud..bt my agony is dat if Yu didn't have sex wid him he vl take a very wrong turn which is dangerous to his life

Answer 27

my answer is that maybe it well be hasrh answer but i analayzed all your question and ppls answer so my answer is that you better have sex with your son in that case you well have under control and he not goin te get confuset that what i think

Answer 28

Wow. Well I will admit most teenagers boy/girl visit porn sites and if they dont they will eventually at some point access some porn site accidentally. But that is beside the case. It is evident your child has gone down the wrong road morally and you need to take action! I think you should mention it that you were checking up on his internet activity and came to realise that he was viewing porn (without being too specific). This will help to resolve this issue of him being embarassed (though either way hes likely to be n e way). Mentioning it to him alone simply wont help. You may need to take it a step further. Let him know you are really concerned and tell him that you are willing to assist him. Take him to a psychologist who will be able to address the issue efficiently. Best of Luck!

~!!@!@!!~

Answer 29

1

Answer 30

Believe it or not, just because he's in to incest porn, doesn't necessarily mean he is interested in actually doing incest.



If I was you, I wouldn't mention exactly what you saw on your computer, but talk to your son and demand he stops looking at porn.



He needs a hobby or a girlfriend.

Answer 31

He's thinking with his man bits, just have a frank discussion that it's not appropriate, but don't belittle him.

Answer 32

If you are an attractive( sexy) women then his curiosity is understandable. I suggest you sit him down and talk about it. Get his perspective and why, and give him your perspective and why. Form that conversation can find out if it is juvenile curiosity or he needs professional help.

Answer 33

I know it seems creepy and weird, but kids are curious about weird stuff, so I'm not sure it's that big a deal. It's just something he thought about, it doesn't mean he really wants to act on it. We all have thoughts that might seem crazy to other people.

Answer 34

Your right. Dont embarrass him. That will just make him hate you. Try to calmly ask him questions about school. Make sure there isnt any problems in his life. At his age, kids start dating and he may feel insecure. Especially if he cant see his parents relationship. If all else fails, talk about when you were pregnant with him.

Answer 35

awkward!!!!!! umm o well..no..ok maybe you can...no that wouldn't work either ummm your shiit out of luck that's some crazy stuff right there!



maybe you shouldn't confront him because that's really embarrassing id say you should try to expose him to girls his age i don't mean sex or anything but maybe get him a girlfriend so he can see that that's what he might want instead of his own mother...



ps maybe he might look up stuff like that because your a milf??

milf = (mother. id . love to . ****) basically cus your a hot mom possibility maybe?

Answer 36

OMG!!! I am so sorry about that...it sounds horrible. I have 2 boys they are little but i don't wish for that to happen to me. imagine if you don't confront this it could get to worse maybe you should ask for medical advice or have a close family member talk to him or even ask him what does that mean, tell him you saw some strange thing about him wanting information about having sex with a mom..good luck! and god bless you and your son..

Answer 37

based on what you are telling us maybe he dose not want to have sex with you maybe he's just looking for stories like that not meaning he really wants to have sex with you but he does need help if anything but you probably have it all wrong and hopefully you do but i doubt he means actually having sex with you he probably just looking for stories like that but you should sit down and have a talk with him because obviously he do have a problem

Answer 38

Have sex with him.

Answer 39

This is not normal if your son wants to have sex with you. You should consult him with a family physician. This is a rare situation and awkward. He should find a girlfriend himself. Rather than liking his mother in a wrong way.

Answer 40

he may not have sexual feelings for you he might just like mother son porn.. i was the same when i was like 13 i watched incest porn/storie because its tabboo but i never had sexual feeling towards my actual family memebers

Answer 41

sex with him if u want

Answer 42

do you want to have sex with him???

Answer 43

I don't have an answer for you I am sorry....Some people think of these types of fantasies and leave it there as a very weird but personal fantasy.....although I have no idea what your son is like of course but I think you might have to search long and hard at how you are going to approach this matter....maybe talk to a sex therapist or something...search on line,,..Good Luck.

Answer 44

Just let him. It will be fun. Family bonding

Answer 45

idk!

maybe a physchiotrist.or something.

maybe if your one of thos moms

who dress more revealing.

you could change uo the way you dress.

ummm.idk you really dont wanna make the

relationship awkward.by letting him know you know.

maybe find a boyfriend.

you could talk to some type of a physchiotrist

and see what is the best thing to do.

Answer 46

the searching could be for porn movies with that topic...but at his age to be searching that sounds like he's probably personally interested...ask a psychiatrist...even get second opinions...I doubt anyone who will respond on YAHOO!! is qualified.

Answer 47

Hail Oedipus! King!

Answer 48

Contrary to what you may think and what the popular opinion seems to be, this isnt an uncommon thing. You as the mother are the first woman in his life and he will be judging all the women to come into his life by you. Yes he has taken his feelings to a whole different 2009 age of internet level, but the situation is centuries old. You carried him, breastfed him, bathed him, etc. Growing up you may not have cared if he saw you naked or he may have walked in on you changing so think now that as he is getting older, and is having teenage boy feelings, you are maybe the only woman he has actually seen naked in real life. Girls on TV and online are one thing but real life is another. He doesnt want to actually sleep with you (unless the issues go deeper), he just has nothing to compare you to. If hormones and lack of experience is at the root of it, then dont worry because it wont last long.



BTW at least you know he isnt having sex yet.

Answer 49

Darlin,

He is ur'e son...now...U need to make a appointment w/ a therapist or a psychiatrist...talk w/ him 1st..explain what is going on..print out what u need to off the internet before it can disappear...This doesn't sound like growing pains to me..Talk w/ someone...Before U involve ur'e son...see what Or how this should be handled, the right way...Good luck!!!

Answer 50

**** him good and get it over with . You might like it .

Answer 51

you should have sex with hin

Answer 52

Dang! Okay, so maybe he is playing around, like typing all nonsense stuff, or he really wants to! I would hook him up with a girlfriend.....

Answer 53

In the psychology world it makes sense, but in reality its very abnormal. I would seek professional counseling for your son. It seems as if he is developing some usually sexual fantasies for his age, especially about incest. This could be very harmful and eventually dangerous as he grows older. If he is writing thes fantasies than eventually he will act on them inappropriately.

Answer 54

Block the porn sites and set parental controls on your computer. Most likely he will forget even having gone there and just think something is wrong with computer. Since, he can't undo the parental blocks he will eventually quit trying and things will return to normal. Some kids talk that way to impress their peers. That doesn't mean they really want it to happen.

Answer 55

hello

Answer 56

according to me you have to give her a chance ..may be he satisfied your pussy you will enjoy with her ....

Answer 57

I think you should sit down and talk to him. Before you talk to him let him know this might embarrass you but this is important to talk about. But make sure he doesn't do anything crazy after talking to you. So keep good eye on him after you discuss it with him. Good luck!

Answer 58

I think you should allow him

Answer 59

please email me at [e-mail] or yahoo im ill explain what your son is going through i went through well am going through the same im 20 year old male who just 7 years ago had the same problem.



not tryin to speak sexual at all just tryin to help and maybe save yours and your sons future

Answer 60

Confront him about it before you jump to conclusions. He could have just been fooling around and searching for weird stuff with friends.

Answer 61

**** him your an idiot anyway stay off the internet you moronic idiot

Answer 62

give to him, he will remember forever

Answer 63

leave a detailed account of how to erase the "history" on your browser, then stop looking through your son's stuff...



he could just be crazy, not actually want to have sex with you

Answer 64

uh.

Don't have sex with him of course

Maybe he was playing around, or he just likes writing stories like that. . .I say to confront him, if anything like this continue

Answer 65

u can email me if u like i maybe able to help but if u dont want to that ok

Answer 66

When he asks you, just tell him that is not what family does with each other, and he has to wait until he is married.



Hopefully he won't try to rape you, he isn't crazy is he

Answer 67

Do it

Answer 68

I would see someone with your son.

Answer 69

You should put that kid in a crazy house!

Answer 70

Send him to a mental hospital for treatment. Then he'll learn.

Answer 71

do it dirty with him

Answer 72

ew.

get him a counselor.

Answer 73

.....

Answer 74

Wtf