Should I allow this in a serious relationship?

Question

Well me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months though we are taking this relationship serious. I am trying my best to make an effort. Well I am going to explain here 3 things that i thought was really offensive to me.

(1 STORY)
A few months ago, I was at her house so I decided to look through her phone to see what she was up to, I logged in her Voxer (mobile app walkie-talkie) and I saw she was chatting with one of her guy friends so i listened to the recordings they had. What really upset me is they both called each other "sweetheart" I went through it with her and she said she didnt mean it and its been happening before she met me.

(2 STORY)
Her guy friend and I dont really get long because the way his actions are towards her, they work in the same company and one night he was insulting me on Facebook saying he was going to RAPE her! and some other insults, I told her mom and herself about it and they didnt take it very serious as I thought, yes they did have a talk about it, but wasnt the result i expected. My girlfriend still talks to him like nothing happened.

(3 STORY)
Last 3 days ago, we were talking late in text. We stopped talking around 11:30pm, I always tell her not to get on Facebook, talk or text any of her friends. Well, in the morning I went to her house just to give a visit, again, i looked through her phone I logged in her Oovoo (video chat) I saw a text from her guy friend asking if her can text her and she accepted the text activity was going around for 10 minutes around 12:30am that same night, but wait thats not all she also video chatted with him.

I dont know what to do anymore I really adore her so please dont ask me to forget about her and leave her because she is my everything! Please someone help I need advice, tips, recommendations. Ive asked her millions of times to remove those friends from her life but she denies me:( SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, i would be really honored if someone would take this deeper with me, I just need to talk to someone. If you need my number please ask and i will share it with you. THAT WOULD REALLY MEAN ALOT TO ME!!:(

Answer 1

It sounds like that you are a little insecure. Your girl friend appears to comfortable with other male relationships other than you.

Other than talking there no direct evidence that she is cheating on you.

The evidence is that she is maintaining the existing relationships that she had with other guys before she started going out with you.

What this suggests she is gregarious but not promiscuous.

Unless you can allow her the freedom to maintain her relationships with her existing relationships you will continue to be frustrated and insecure.

You have a subconscious assumption that when you are in a "relationship" that you need to stop relating to other people of the opposite sex.

Her assumption is that this okay to do this.

Both yourself and your girl have different perspectives.

Neither wrong or right, its just different. In your case you are "outraged" in her case she thinks "nothing of it".

You simply cannot tell her to "delete all her contacts" and this activity is bizarre to her and she never will.

Because your points of reference of what is right to do in the way that maintain relationships with the opposite sex you are different you are always going to be at logger heads.

Unless you can "reprogram your thinking" to allow her to choose her friends and whether she wants to keep them or not' you will put your relationship in jeopardy because you will appear as "controlling and insecure"

Sorry no easy answers.

Answer 2

friend, ladies are always confusing. i think that guy is trying to take your girl (may be) & he is getting advantage as they work in the same company. it would be better to talk about it with your girlfriend (or her mom) frankly. let me know if it brings any positive result.

Answer 3

HEY! I THINK U ARE REALLT IN LOVE WITH HER, WHAT U NEED TO DO IS TALK TO HER, ASK HER IF THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN HER AND HIS GUY FRIEND

COZ HONESTLY IF HE IS INTO YOU AND IF HE LOVES YOU, HE WILL DO THINGS OR FAVOR THAT UR ASKIN OF LIKE DELETING THEM IN HER FRIENDS LIST OR SIMPLY NOT TXTING HIM...



IF SHE STILL CONTINUE TO DO IT, FIND SOMEONE ELSE ....