relationship problem.. how to get him back?

Question

we broke up bc i would always blow up at him for no reason. he says he still loves me and wants me back but doesnt want to get back together bc hes afraid ill go back to my old habits. he says that even though us being together again would be great, he would always be scared that the old me would come back

ps the old me is completely gone. the break up was such a wake up call. i helped myself to become a better person and control how mad i get.

what SPECIFICALLY should i say to him to convince him that if he got back with me, it would be different this time and we would be so great together? he is on the fence and might take me back if i say the right things.

thanks guys, you all rock.

Answer 1

Don't try to get him back yet - as much as you think you have changed, you did not.



If you really want a future with this guy, don't do anything just yet. Get some help - not that you are crazy but read on the subject, see a councellor to help you out dealing with your old habits.



You are used to handle situation your way (blowing up). If he takes you back now, you'll go back to blowing up at him for no reason. A break up is not enough to change...

Answer 2

Ask him if it would make a difference if you were to go to Anger Management classes? This would at least show him that you are serious and never want to hurt him again.Sounds as if you might have taken him for granted that he would always be there no matter how hateful you were to him and you found out the hard way that he didn't have to put up with it. I am not trying to criticize as I have done the same thing before. Tell him that you love him enough that you have made adjustments in your attitude and that you now treasure him and just want to make him happy. Ask him to take a chance on you if he loves you enough to do so. If he is not willing, then maybe he has moved on and he is just not into you like he was before. IN the name of love, we take chances and adjust our personalities and such to maintain harmony. Now he has to take a chance on you and trust that you have changed. IF he cannot do this, then you need to let him go. I hope it works out for you. Good luck! Gail

Answer 3

did you read that report about job interviews and the people never to hire are the ones that yell at the waiters that make minor mistakes, reason is on the inside they a truly mean people. In this case you will always have that inside you unless you seek a medical professional and get some life longs meds. "wake up call" my a**. He would be one dumb MF'r if he went back to you, words will never change the person in you, let's keep the divorce rate down, go find a man you can dominate and just be his boss the rest of your mean life

Answer 4

Sorry, sweetie, the old you is still there because you did not learn new relationship techniques and new personal behaviors. People don't just magically change over night. You need to take a serious look at yourself and find out why you "blow up for no reason". I suggest counseling.....it will be your best friend as you go through life!

Answer 5

Contact a former CIA/FBI agent ... you can find them hanging out at the local Wal-Mart near the accessories section. They also hang out at floral shops When you find them the code word is "Floozies butt cheeks ” they should reply with, “Ridicules snogging”. You’ll need to offer this former CIA/FBI agent toe socks for their payment … Beware … the agent might be compelled to give you a “Butter Cup” if you miff them off.



When negotiations are finished, the agent will kidnap this guy and erase the bad memories. For an additional Easter Bonnet, the agent will brain wash him to only remember you're the greatest ever.



Really, I have no idea, just be yourself and find your own happiness ... then share this happiness with as many as you can.

Answer 6

i was the same way you are. me and my girlfriend have been together since we were 12, yes 12. i'm 16 now and it's been the happiest 4 years of my life. about a year ago, i moved on from intensely liking her and started to love her. it scared the hell out of me, and out of her. she's the only girl i've ever been with so there were so many things on my mind. i became the way you are, i would get angry at her for no reason and blow up at her and we would fight so much. i began to hurt her more and more everyday until i realized she would cry pretty much everyday. she said she loved me but didnt have the heart to leave me, so i left her. we were broken up for about a month and everyday during that month i would think what i did wrong. i forced myself to change not for myself, but for her. we got back together but she always was in fear that i would change back to how i used to be. its been about 8 months and she hasnt shed one tear over me hurting her. the only time she cries is if i get her something sweet or we watch a depressing movie, things normal girls sometimes cry about. my advice to you would be to ask hiim for another chance. tell them him that if you ever blow up on him, he has every right to leave you. that's what i did to her, and even if i one day i get angry at her and make her cry, she KNOWS im not that person anymore, so i konw she would forgive me. if you really care about the guy, make sure you do whatever it takes to not hurt him or blow up in his face. its not worth it, you'll only end up losing him. just make him happy, i had to learn that the hard way, and i really hope you learn it without causing him and yourself pain. good luck.

Answer 7

I have found that when you ignore men they want you more. Not necessarily ignore, but don't let him know you want him so bad. Act like you have other options. Still talk to him, let him know your cool with not being together, whatever happens happens, this might make him realize he may lose you. The key is.. don't try too hard to get him back, this lets him know he is holding all the cards! he probably loves knowing you want him so badly.

Answer 8

i would just ask him if he would consider friendship first then work into the relationship thing, it takes the pressure off of just jumping back into the relationship full force ya know? i mean hang out and do whatever you would do with friends and let itself work back into the loving relationgship ya want. and maybe seek counceling, an anger issue never goes away, doesnt sound like the relationship was all that stable to begin with

Answer 9

"I am truly sorry for the way i have acted and i have taken the time we had apart to revaluate my behavior. YOU WERE RIGHT(guys like to be right) and tell him that from now on to be more open about our issues. I will express myself like an adult and handle things calmy. Its going to be hard and i would like to apologize in advance for any slip up in the future. UNderstand that changing is not done instanteously but i promise iwill get there for you." Try that.

:)

Answer 10

If you're certain that your new habits are better, then make negiotations with him. Tell him, you only need one last chance to show him you're better than before. Try being together again and if you do go back to your old self, he can leave.....Make sure you make your promise clear.

Answer 11

instead of trying to immeadiatly get back with him, just be his friend. hang out with him alot and show him that you have changed. if he really still loves you he will notice this difference and will want to get back with you. but the more you push urself on him by telling him that you've changed is just going to push him away. don't tell him, just show him and be his friend for now!

Answer 12

tell him you know you screwed up and losing him was a wakeup call. that he is to important to you to lose him again. that if he will give you a chance.he will not regret it. love is a risk. there is always a chance that some one will get hurt. but if he loves you truely he will give you a chance to make your mistake right.

Answer 13

tell him that you si\till like him and that the old u is totally gone just saythe truth

Answer 14

i think you would go back to your old habits

Answer 15

didn't you ask this question before?