Am I being too sensitive or is girlfriend being plain insensitive?

Question

Last night i sat down and watch a TV programme about Lewis Hamilton and how much is could be worth etc, my girlfriend turned round to me and said that we would never be able to give our son that kind of life because we dont earn enough. I am at present working two jobs one during the week and one at weekends just so i can pay all the bills, i would be happy as long as our son grew up to be a happy, polite and respectful man who was doing a job he enjoyed (what ever that may be), my GF doesn't think he'll have a fair go at life because we dont earn enough!! I'm trying my hardest, i dont have any hobbies or smoke or drink, when i'm not working im at home!!! i was really upset by her comments last nite and she didnt realsie that she'd up set me.

What do you guys think??

Answer 1

I think you have every right to feel hurt. But it won't help if she doesn't know that you are hurt. You need to clearly let her know that unless she is going to contribute financially to help the situation, she should not criticize your efforts.

Answer 2

You sound like a kind and responsible sort of guy. I don't think that your girlfriend was making a personal attack on you, but rather stating the obvious. That doesn't set well with the male ego, but it might not have been intended to offend you.



However, I would sit down with her and simply tell her that "when you bring up the fact that we don't have a lot of money, I feel really bad about it and take it personally." Then, let her talk. Just listen. Don't argue. After she gets finished, repeat back what you heard her say - don't interpret - just restate it: "So, what I'm hearing you say is that ....."



You will be amazed at how approaching problems in this way will keep arguments from happening and help to avoid more serious relationship problems. And, your girlfriend will be happy that you really listened to her.

Answer 3

There are two ways to take this, 1. you are working hard to make two ends meet, 2. your GF doesn't want the next generation to lead a life that you are leading (full of hardships). You can sweetly explain to her that, everything said and done, the next generation will have a more decent life to live as you are working towards that. And she has to even be sensible enough to feel that, none become rich over a night. Her concern is genuine as is yours... on both the sides, none of your are insensitive, but don't create a clash in the relationship because of this small misunderstanding... good luck for your future...

Answer 4

I think that your girlfriend was probably just making a throwaway comment, not aiming anything directly at you.



As for her working, well it can be hard to work with a small baby to care for and no childcare or relatives/friends to help out - even going to interviews is problematic in that situation.



Rather than discussing these things on Yahoo Answers, why don't you actually TALK to her next time, explain how you are feeling? Your girlfriend is not a mind reader. Relationships need communication to survive. SafetyDancer makes some very good points.

Answer 5

Thumbs up to you!



I think your a great dad and it would b great if there was more people out there like you.

Money isnt every thing and and self respect and values are much more important.As you said you work 2 jobs as is and dont drink smoke and do drugs so you are doning more than your best.

Answer 6

Tell your g/f she upset you, you've got no reason to think your being over sensitive she wants to get a grip, will she go and work two jobs to pay the bills. You sound decent like a really cool fella for all you do but you do need to talk to her.

Answer 7

See...for many of us it's clear that we can't be like Hamilton or Donald Trump or Onassis..we simply can't earn like them.. that's the life...

it's depend how your GF said that statement..maybe she even didn't mean anything bad really..try to talk with her about it.

I think that she didn't mean to insult you.

Me & my husband have a that kind of talk very often :) when see something on TV we start : Ohhhh when we will have all that? or I wish I could earn more money to make a house, buy a new fancy car for us and for our child..

but that is true :) we are aware how much we earn..but this statement doesn't mean that we don't appreciate each other ..

Anyway-Hamilton earn all his fortune by himself, by his own effort..no matter of his parents earning..

So..maybe one day your son will be able to earn much more that you both earn..it's our duty to guide our kids in their life to be more successful than us, to try at last to make them more successful..



it's enough for you to say that you are doing your best..you are at two works, you can pay your bills, your son have a home, security, love...it's really enough ..

So..how your's son life will be?!! no one knows..even and his own mother..



**maybe one day you will enjoy in his luxury yacht :) **

Answer 8

Safety Dancer is totally right, if you tell her how you felt, wihtout blaming her, then you can find a resolution and actually come to a way of moving forward to do the best for your whole family.

This could make you much stronger as a family - if you wish to prove yourself a man, then grasp the opportunity with both hands, just as hard as you have grasped the need to work hard.

I wish you success and happiness.

Answer 9

If you are working two jobs to pay the bills and support your GF and son, why isnt the GF workng to help out???? You can't do it all by yourself. If she is unhappy with the future you are trying to provide your son maybe she should get a job and help out financially, otherwise she should quit complaining. This is my opinion.

Answer 10

Does your GF work?



If not, tell herto get off her butt and geta job so you guys can provide the life for you r son she wants.



Anyways, it's not the material things you prvide, but the morals, love, foundations of life that truly matter at the end of it all.

Answer 11

i think that u could tell your gf to go and molest herself in the nearest bathroom. i she wanted to marry a rich guy she shouldn't have hooked up with u and delivered a baby. don't let her make u feel guilty. she saw with whom she was going out - u didn't pretend to be a billionair i hope, so u didn't fool her or anything. and yes, we all want to be rich without doing anything - just marrying someone successfully. it is normal. not normal is to marry someone plain and simple and start gnawing at his brains that he isn't rich enough. tell he she wants a rich boy she is free to go and search or one. if he ever wants her

Answer 12

Maybe she was just being honest about how she feels. It doesnt mean that she doesnt appreciate you. Sometimes I can be too honest myself. Talk to her about it. That is the only way you will really know what she meant by what she said.

Answer 13

your GF is a bit insensative.

your not on your own with this one mate,i think most immature women are the same.

Answer 14

Maybe she was a little over the top of how she told you. Does she work? She should understand that your doing everything you can.

Answer 15

You are a great partner and dad! She should be glad to have such a responsible guy.

Answer 16

I think she was stating her opinion & wasn't intentionally trying to hurt you. Tell her her off handed remarks hurt your feeling & you really wish she wouldn't say things like that, cause it makes you feel bad.

Answer 17

yeah I see what you mean, you should tell her to have a day in your shoes and see how she likes it! Good luck xx