When is it a good time to tell my sis that she is a pathological liar with out her ruining my wedding?

Question

Here is my situation. My big sis pretends to be a caring born again christian. But she is a fake & I am an idiot to keep confiding in her about my problems. She caused major problems between my mother & I. She told my mother all kinds of lies about me & my mom got confused & almost believed her. I moved to west coast to be closer to my sis & help her & her kids out. She & her husband borrowed 7 grand from me & hasn't paid back most of the money. She made me buy anything she asked for for her & her kids all the time. I slaved my self by cooking & cleaning for her even bought her groceries. But mom got the impression that I was sleeping around, I was an alcoholic & went to srip clubs. But I'm a good Catholic Virgin. I moved back to Midwest to be with mom. Now I am getting maried soon & my sis is my maid of honer cause she wanted to be in the wedding & her kids are flower girls & are exited to be. My sis hates my fiance. She lied again this time to me about mom. Now my mom is mad at me.

Answer 1

Your just like a doormat to your sister. She can just walk all over you and your letting her. Well girl its time to take charge. Tell her if shes going to be in your wedding then shes going to be a guest. You can find someone who is decent enough and worthy enough to be your maid of honor. Your sister is treating you like that because you LET her. Take charge and show her whos boss. And she also needs to apologize to you for making up lies about you and using you.

Answer 2

Firstly, a pathological liar is someone who actually believes what they are saying..

Secondly, your sister didn't "make you" buy those things. You did it in the hope that she would show you more love and appreciation than she has.

She seems to be the type, from what you write, that feels inferior to you, and thinks that the only way to be better is to drag you down, rather than raising herself up.

Now you're trying to make nice again by having her participate in your wedding, even as she tries to poison your relationship with your mother?

You're going to have to stand up for yourself at one time or another. I hope you have a written agreement on that money you loaned them. Personally, I'd give her an absolute deadline on when to start repayment of that debt, and if they don't, then take them to court.

If you're going to be married, you need to be a grown up. People can only take advantage of you if you let them.

Answer 3

wow that is a lot of family dynamics there. I would tell your mom that it is not true and i am not sure I would want her in my wedding but if you do you should talk to her and let her know that you are really hurt. if sis lied to you about mom and you do not want your wedding ruined do not repeat the lies it will just cause more problems. and when ever she wants to tell you stuff tell her you prefer not to hear gossip and never repeat it and keep your distance as much as possible,

Answer 4

okay., whoa. sis can't really MAKE you do anything. but telling her she is a pathological liar, etc, is bound to cause a blow up, whether it's true or not.



Stick to your main issue-just say to her, look, you've already caused me way too much heartache, and if you can't accept my fiance and behave appropriately, then we'll just have to excuse you from participating in our wedding. we'd love to have your daughters included, but it's up to you.

then follow through. speak politely but firmly, look her in the eyes, and mean what you say without saying anything mean. and confront her right in front of your mom, so there is no possible way she can misrepresent what you said and how you said it.



Then, stick to your guns, girl. grow a spine! you obviously cannot ever please her, so stop trying. focus on your new hubby and on meeting your own expectations for yourself.



best wishes!

cryllie

Answer 5

Why on Earth would you have anything to do with this woman? And why did you invite her to be any part of your wedding? I'm sorry, but you are the one with the severe problem for allowing this to happen. No one can take advantage of you unless you allow it! Speak up now before it is way too late (it may already be).

Answer 6

sit your mom down and explain whats really going on...either wait till after the wedding or if not just be ready to accept what may happen. either way the wedding is your big day, enjoy it no matter what!! dont let your sister control you.

Answer 7

that is such a big word "pathological". why not just say my sis. lies. If she's that bad, why are you having her in your wedding.



no one can make you.



I used to hang with a guy who was a jerk. I did't like hanging with him. I just didn't know I didn't have to . now you have my permission to not hang with someone who lies about you.



but be nice till you get the rest of the money back honey.



peace



frankie c.

Answer 8

you need to tell here how you feel as soon as possible be fore the wedding just sit her down and let her know how when she lies on you it is really upsetting

Answer 9

you your mother and sister need to get in one room and have a grown up talk some body have to take the frist step and tell her and confront her with what she have said without getting mad good luck

Answer 10

why not tell her after the wedding?

Answer 11

break the silence. its time to tell the truth.