Why do women look at eyecandy?

Question

My girlfriend has had "eyecandy" on her computer before but she deleted it when I found it....that was 3 yrs. ago. I now find out that her friend sent her some more in an e-mail and she saved it agian. Why does she feel the need to have eyecandy?
I know she wouldn't like it if I had eyecandy because she has low self esteem as it is; even though I try to give her compliments to help her. And it really bothers me that she sort of hides it. I realize that i'm not the only person on this vast planet that she will ever see and find attractive; I know this. But why the need to keep it let alone hide it. I don't understand why people (man or woman) have eyecandy pics wether it be a workout hunk on their cell phone or a pin up in their garage. To me the only thing it does is gets you to have adulteress thoughts about someone other than your partner; wether you will ever meet them or not isn't the point. Yes their are beautiful people in the world but it doesnt mean i should drool over them!!!

Answer 1

It seems to me there are several issues here, and I am going to go over them one at a time.



One, you refer to it as "eyecandy" therefore I am going to assume that it is of a non-pornographic nature. If you "found" it on the computer 3 years ago and she deleted it, you probably made a fuss about it being on there so it doesn't surprise me that if she had more that she would hide it so you don't fuss about it again. If she is receiving this eyecandy in an email then its not like she is actively searching for it, which leads me to wonder what you are doing in her email, but thats neither here nor there.



Perhaps she saved it to send it to some of her friends that she thought might appreciate a little "eyecandy." Did you have a talk with her about this subject? Maybe she didn't realize you have such a problem with what her friends send her. I can't answer why she personally feels the need to have eyecandy, thats a subject you will have to approach her with, but be prepared to endure any backlash you may encounter when you have to admit that you were going through her personal files when you found it.



The second topic I would like to cover is that you said she wouldn't like it if you had "eyecandy." Do you know this to be a fact? If she has it, I am guessing that she may not mind as much as you think.



Also, you said that she has low self esteem, and that you try to give her compliments to "help her." This sounds quite patronizing to me. Maybe you are the one with low self esteem if you are so bothered by some harmless pics to the point that you "find" (actively search for) them in her email. It sounds to me that it isn't the "eyecandy" that is the issue here, but rather a trust issue which could be the root of her low self esteem.



Eyecandy in most cases does not mean that the viewer is having adulteress thoughts about them. Besides, you refer to your partner as your girlfriend and not your wife so its not really adultry. If she were out with other guys, it would be cheating, and looking at pictures isn't cheating. I wouldn't worry so much about it if I were you.

Answer 2

I would strongly suggest that if this situation is uncomfortable to you then it's time to just leave her alone and move on ,,,, Pornography has the same effect on some females as it does on males ,,,, It's a poison and infection and an addiction for them too but without the serious consequences as in male addiction ,,,, Men look at it and go ape over it all the time and to them it's ok and normal and natural ,,,, Do we have a double standard here ?

Answer 3

Have you talked to her about this "eye-candy"? Does she know that you were reading her emails? Wouldn't it be safe to assume that if she knew you were reading her emails that you would find it. To me that would suggest that she doesn't look at the "eye-candy" or even forgotten it was there. Do you really think that it gives her "adulteress thoughts" or are you just being paranoid, looking for an excuse not to trust her?

Answer 4

I have to admit that I have gotten some of those pics myself. However I think that saying it leads to adulteress thoughts is a bit of a stretch. I don't fantasize about these men they are just nice to look at. Women and men are very different when it comes to that.

Answer 5

its exactly what it is "eye candy" just like a piece of art work one gets to enjoy finer pieces... doesn't mean you desire it or want to do anything with it...just a fleeting moment to enjoy a visual candy