What is your advice!?!?! Please Help!!!?

Question

Okay well I'm Lesbian but haven't come out of the closet yet and only my best friend knows. The thing is that I was born into a religion and in this religion I would be "disfellowshiped" which basically means that all of my friends and family would no longer be able to associate or even speak to me if everyone found out. And I havnt been allowed any friends outside the religion so literally ALL of my friends couldnt talk to me!!! So I have no idea what to do, The thing is that god really doesn't approve of homosexuality and it does say that in the bible but I can't really escape that desire so Ive tried to figure out what all of my options are but maybe one of you could think of something i could do keep in mind I cant even emphasize how devastated and disgusted my friends and family will be when they find out!! here is the options I have thought of : a. tell everyone and deal with the pain of not having friends. b. ignore my true feelings and go on with life closeted and bottling up everything till i explode! c. try to get rid of my lesbo feelings/desires. D. run away and start a new life somewhere else or E. Wait and see where life leads me!
so if anyone can think of a different option great because none of the above are real nice
but if you cant pick one of the above options
or just give some advice!! I need answers! Keep in mind that im 14 and still live with my parents thanks!!

Answer 1

my opinion is A. or E.

Most religious people would say suppress it, it's just your flesh that wants this sinful nature but honestly you are just not attracted to men. Someday that may change but now that is what you want.

I as well was born into a very very religious background and think homosexuality is against the Bible but I have not and will not judge anyone for it.

I think you should go with what you truly want, be who you are.

Other wise just wait it out and see what the future holds.

Don't bottle it up, whatever you do.

You'll become resentful and you may even hate those around you or yourself.

I hope I helped somewhat.

Good luck.

Stay true to yourself.

Answer 2

at 14 you can still be exploring your sexuality. Do not think because you look at girls and notice their attributes that you are necessarily gay. You are young enough that such first experiences are mistaken for gayness when all they are is explorations of a body that has never been explored by either sex! Keep yourself pure until a few years have past. Do not give in to things that may guide you down a path when you haven't given the normal path even a fighting chance.



Since you know God's views, your family's views and friends views, don't label yourself too early in life. A lot of young girls feel safer exploring their sexuality with each other prior to dating young men. It can lead to going too far, the same as too much contact, too freely given, leads to sex between boys and girls . Right now you may feel safer "exploring your bodies " with a girlfriend. Its no more morally right than if done with the opposite sex.



Years down the line these actions now will become part of your life to either live up to, or live down in shame. Give yourself some time to grow into and choose relationships that can give you what life has to offer,with a path that leads to less scrutiny and more acceptance if at all possible. Choosing lesbian right now is a choice you are not old enough to truthfully determine. Your mind does not fully develop its abilities to make such decisions until in the 20's. Don't sell your life short by hasty decisions and labels that may stick whether you want them to or not. Try not to invite troubles. Life is hard enough being straight. If you have to, Shop both sides of the aisle before choosing your sexuality and wait till you can pay for the consequences involved! There are always consequences.

Answer 3

The truth must come out, the only question is when and how. You may find it very difficult and painful to tell your family and friends but at the same time you will no longer have to live a lie. I suggest you build a support group around yourself with people who are going through the same thing. I've heard of programs that are set up like summer camps that coach people through their coming out process. Good Luck! God makes no mistakes, you're exactly who you are supposed to be.

Answer 4

First you cant deny who you are you are a lesbian. I don't think you should tell anybody just yet, you are too young to fend for your self in life. You are going to need your friends and family. Find an online friend that you can talk to about your feeling with the lesbian thing, this way you don't keep it bottled up.

Answer 5

I think that you should seek counseling - preferably Christian counseling. I doubt that your local elders will have the appropriate experience.



*Many* people have been successful at suppressing their sinful desires. Men and women who "need" multiple partners can refrain and be loyal to a single person. Men and women who are homosexuals can refrain from committing such acts. People who want to rape, murder, steal - they can suppress all of these desires. That's a large part of what being Christian is all about - rejecting sin.



There is a way to do so without such desires being left "bottled up inside". I am no psychiatrist - I can't tell you how, and couldn't even if I were unless I knew a whole lot more about you. So - the only *good* advice I can give you is to seek private (discreet) counseling from a Christian who does counseling as their job - not just whenever they are forced to do so as part of their duty as elder. If your school counselor is a Christian, you are in luck. If not, you might be able to find out from that person someone who will take your case.



I don't know that you can ever erase your desires - but I *do* know that you can control them. People can (and do) choose to be celibate, and they often do so without being tormented by that choice.



Jim, http://www.bible-reviews.com

Answer 6

okay so stop freaking out. Everything will be fine. At 14 do you really need to be out of the closet? Figure out your own feelings and how this effects your own personal religious beliefs before you come out to those who may not understand you.



Call the Gay & Lesbian National Hotline 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564) They should be able to give you free confidential advice.

Answer 7

First of all, God approves everyone homosexual or heterosexual, so don't worry about that. Second if you're parents can't accept that you're a Lesbian, then you should go see counseling because if you're parents really love you they won't care. Third, you're the one who has to decide to tell you're other friends. Remember that you'll always have the best friend that you already told, and if you feel like you have to tell you're other then just do it. But if you don't think that you're ready then don't. You have to decide on that.

Best of Luck to you!!!(:

Answer 8

Be there for her and check out and get her to speak to her mom and dad... By her speaking to them offers her extra choices on wether or no longer she desires to preserve it and even adoption she has extra choices now than she is going to later. Her mom and dad will discover out ultimately simply be certain it isn't to past due. And be a well pal and check out and support/consultant her to make the offerings she desires and no longer what any one "desires" her to do in view that she am has to manage it afterward in existence it doesn't matter what she makes a decision... And like the lady earlier than mentioned her mom and dad will develop to the suggestion and sure there is a danger they will unfastened it however the will not hurt her or the little one. So inspire her to make her choices for you to advantage her ultimately.

Answer 9

First, you should find a support group outside of your community to talk with. Those who had been through this with their families, especialy if they also come from a religius background. They also may have resources you can check into for getting counsling to help with any tougher emotional times you may go through. If you can find people who have delt with Bieng gay and growing up in a religous background, they may help you go through some of the tougher times. Also, you are only 14, gay or not, give yourself time to grow up more before getting to sexual with anyone. Figure out what you want in person, who you like being when you are with that special someone. give yourself time to get comfortable with your feelings for girls and that would give you time on how to figure out when and how you should come out to family and friends. in the meantime injoy the company you keep. My niece is also 14 and came out to me and my husband acouple of months ago, we are fine with it and as it turns out-so is her father when she shortly came out to him. There is a religious history with us. I am catholic and her grandparents on her dad side are super hyper religous so she has not told them. Nobody else in the family that knows has either. With the issues of God and the bible, keep in mind that alot of them are subject to interpretation. it can be taken to one extreme or another. use common sense and decency when it comes to a good life and healthy relationships with yourself, others and God. I hope some of what I said helps. Good luck.

Answer 10

As far as getting rid of your feelings...I doubt that is possible...it's who you are.

I would make some new friends.

That way if you do decide to tell people later...you'll have them to see you through.

the fact is hun....no matter what anybody says here...your the one who has to make the decision

Good luck.

Answer 11

u go for councelling it will help u surely..in these matters..



i agree wid d person who had given the first answer

Answer 12

f**ck religeon, f**k god, do what u want, be who u want, make NEW friends, and give ur family the good old finger