This is never-ending...Again attempts to take my kids, and judge acts like i'm an idiot.?

Question

these are my prior posts, so my story makes sense, most recent is the bottom area...
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This was my prior post just so you can understand
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I am at my wits end, trying to take my children once again....?
I am going to try to condense my story as much as possible.
I have two children both with the same man ages 3 and 6 months. We have been on and off for ten years and I genuinely love him.
We recently moved in together and I have busted my *** trying to make things work. We have been through the whole court thing when my 3 year old was an infant and ended up with an agreement and child support. Then like a fool, a year later I got back together with him. We had our daughter and it had seemed to be falling into place. I decided to drop csupport and the order.
SO..sure enough...what goes up must come down, and he has been acting extremely secretive for about 3 weeks, I confront him about it, and he says hes not in love with me , lets just stay together for the kids. I was so conflicted because I did not expect that.
I am still residing with him because I graduate nursing school next week and I need to study.
But today he decides to tell me that "When he kicks me out, he is keeping at least one of our children'. i LOST IT! I do not think that is fair, he said he will fight me until he gets exactly what he wants. I can not go thru this again. My heart is crushed and now he is trying to take my babies! Will a judge let someone take one of the kids at all times? I dont know what to do. I am a stable woman, I am just so upset over this whole situation. He resorted to pushing me into a wall and smashing my arm in the door because I told him I could not agree to leaving a child behind. I love them so much. Please help me
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Well, it has been a week and I packed up my things and moved back into my parents. However, he has filed for sole legal and physical custody of our son, stated nothing about our daughter, except in words that i can keep her. I went to the court and filed joint custody for both and child support. I have an appt. with a lawyer on MOnday of next week.
BUT... He came rushing in my parents house today and asked me if he could take the kids... Then proceeded to tell me he would be keeping them until friday. I said "NO", and he stomped out saying he would take them whether i liked it or not. He didn't take them, but i have a feeling he will be back before our court date of june1st. I called the police and reported it, and i also called the court house to make sure i did nothing wrong. But i am scared the judge will side with him since I didnt let him take the kids... I am terrified he will not return them out of spite. Especially since all this has occurred within a matter of days...
PLEASEEEE help me, i am a nervous wreck.. I dont want to look bad after all this is one of the hardest things I have ever done leaving him.
I dont want him to take my son away, If it was about money then I wouldnt even want the child support I just want my babies.... Please help advise me what to do until I can make it into the lawyers office, and if the judge will side with him because i said no
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So today (5/13), my ex came over again, to attempt to get the kids. I once again said no, we will have to wait till i talk to my attorney. Until then I am sorry, but no. And he proceeded to call me a F ing worthless idiot. all this in front of my children. Slammed my door and left. I called the police again to report it and the officer came over my house to sign a harrassment complaint, and told me it would get me a restraining order and that would give me temporary custody anyway.So i went to the court house filled out the paper work and explained all the past domestic violence and what has happend recently to the lady also that he possesses multiple fire arms, and weapons. She took me to the judge, and I explained it to him. He refused my restraining order. He wouldn't tell me if my ex can legally take my kids, and all he could say was talk to your attorney. the judge will be the same for the custody case. I can't stop crying and I don't wanna lose my kids . I thought i was doing the right thing and the judge acted like I was an idiot. Why in the world did he treat me like this? Is this going to affect my custody hearing? I am really upset,i always get screwed

Answer 1

Ok I get your story....



The problem is, are you walking into the courthouse crying and being emotional? Judges don't take kindly to emotions when discussing these things.



First, calm down, take a deep breath and call your attorney. You need to first remember that safety is your kids and yourself first priority. He is NOT allowed to burst into your parents house like that and cause a scene. Calling the police is a good idea because it's all recorded. Whether the judge grants you a restraining order or not, warrants his bad judgments. I only hope you used your attorney to get this restraining order set. GET YOUR ATTORNEY INVOLVED WITH THE RESTRAINING ORDER.



The reason I say get your attorney involved is because most times, a judge will take an attorneys word seriously rather than just your own. You've been known to cut the child support and custody off because you were known to get back with your ex. What's to say that the judge grants you this restraining order and you decide to go back to your ex. What happens now? Your ex would breach the restraining order and cost the judge's judgments to fall short. If your truly serious about being afraid of your ex and what he has done, then follow through COMPLETELY with the restraining order with YOUR ATTORNEY.



I don't know what state you are in, but I know in Cali that a restraining order warrants that the mother will get full custody of the children until it is up. Or in some cases, it warrants supervised visitation for the one restrained. Watch how you act and what you say in front of the judge. This is CRUCIAL for getting what you want. IM me for a shoulder to cry on. And please stay positive. Your kids need you more than ever right now.

Answer 2

Im really sorry. I read your whole story and im only 14. I dont even have kids yet but i am almost crying thinking about if the person i loved tried to destroy what would be my world. My kids. I am deeply sorry about your situation and I wish i could take all of this stuff away from the world. Not only are you being affected but your kids are either way. I hate to tell you this but you need to keep the children together nomatter what. They CAN NOT be seperated. PLEASE MAKE SURE THIS DOESNT HAPPEN. i cant express to you enough how important it is to have them together to get through this mess with eachother. They are brother and sister and must be together. Apart from that I deeply hope that everything turns out well for you. Please email me when you get the verdict and find out what is going to happen. I know im only 15 but if you ever need to talk i am here...

Good luck and again, i am sorry you have to go through this mess. no parent or child should be put through this and the father is being very immature putting the three of you through this. Just be strong for your kids and show them that you love them nomatter what happens. This is the most important key. Stay strong and you will get through this.

Sincerely,

Southern Girl At Heart

Answer 3

Don't be discouraged by that judge. Some judges don't know their *** from their elbow.

So far you are doing everything the right way.

Three suggestions

1) You don't have to talk to him, don't let him in when he comes by. what he say's is irrelevant and he's trying to scare you.

2) Next time in court, request a Law Guardian, for the kids. In New York that's a lawyer that appointed by the courts to look out for your children's best interest, like you, except the judge listens to them.

3) You can get 2 different kinds of restraining orders (order of protection.) One through criminal court and one through family court. It sound like you went for the family court one. Try criminal, they take things more serious. And you can have both!

Keep your head up. Your doing everything right! Don't give up or give in.

Your kids are lucky they have you and their grandparents. :)