Am I in the wrong for feeling like a third wheel?

Question

This has been bothering me so I need to get it off of my mind………….
I was having dinner with my boyfriend sitting at a restaurant but at the bar last week. A few women there knew him and so they said hi. We were just starting to eat our meals when they started talking and kept on talking through most of our dinner to him. He turned his back to me to talk to them and never introduced me. They had there moments of sharing stories and I felt like I was a third wheel, just sitting there having nothing to say and feeling very awkward. He saw this and laughed at me. Thinking I was having a jealous moment but in reality I would have appreciated if he kind of included me. After finishing our meals one of the ladies just said is that your girlfriend sitting next to you and I just felt like I shouldn’t have even been there like they all were having dinner together and I was just on the side. I may have over thought that was kind of inconsiderate on his part as we were together having dinner, but I could not stop feeling uncomfortable. I just wanted to have a nice dinner and chat with him but instead I listened to the ladies and him all night. Then when we got home I was snappy to say why he couldn’t have introduced me and he said that he thought I knew those ladies because they have been out to places that we have been before. He is mister social and knows a lot of people when we go out and where as I am quiet and will sit back and not go around a room chatting with every single person…guess I’m in the wrong for feeling the way that I do.

Thank you for listening

Sincerely,
Bella

Answer 1

I don't think you're in the wrong.

Answer 2

No, you are not wrong at all in feeling this way.



Ignoring and being inconsiderate sure will hurt any body's feeling especially if you were in a date with your boyfriend and guess with who, two other ladies??? this is not a date.



he is totally ignored your feeling and at least if he tried to include you in the conversation that would be fine but he even didn't introduce you to them. honestly, if my friends did that to my i would be very upset.



he must know how you feel about what happened. tell him that you didn't like his behavior last time when you were having dinner with these strangers and give him reason why. i am sure he wouldn't like it if he was in your shoes. These little actions sometimes have great influence in any relationship and therefore every time you will encounter same situation and you get uncomfortable and mad and you keep bottling up all your emotions then this will get really bad.



make everything clear from the first place and hope he will understand you.

Answer 3

No you're not wrong for feeling like a third wheel. If that happens again, just stand up and introduce yourself. Then if you like, ask them to join you, or say excuse us, we are eating dinner, or suggest getting together in the near future and end the conversation.

Answer 4

It sounds like you have an opportunity to tell him how you feel about this. You don't need to sound needy or accusatory, but if he respects you, he'll be able to listen to you and empathize with how you feel. He owes you some sympathy and a conscientious attempt to change this behavior when similar situations come up in the future. You're nor angry- that's an excellent first step. Have faith that he'll take your feelings into consideration.