is it to late to turn back? help me?

Question

Over the summer is decided to move in with my dad. Things with my mom were going horribly. I would stay at home all day(homeschooling myself) and keep the house and watch my two younger siblings. I had to buy all of my own clothing and personal care items with my allowance. I was really depressed- I wanted to die.


Now I live with my dad. Things are going okay. I go to a nice public highschool. He comes home from work and watches tv and zones out. I thought maybe he was lonely but I realized he really wasn't that he just liked to complain on the phone to me. But I feel awfully guilty. I also have a big hole in my heart from missing my baby brother grow up. When I visit he holds my havd and asks me to not ever leave( he is 3) Now my mom decided to quit her job and move back into the country where I grew up.


What should I do? I think I will regret not being around to watch my brother grow up and I THINK my mom sees what a funk I was in and how she contributed to it. She will be moving in late December. How can I tell my dad that I feel its my place to be with my mom and siblings?

Answer 1

You sound like a very mature and responsible young woman. I know you are not an adult yet, but you seem to have grown up in a hurry.



Your dad likes you being there and he probably likes to know that you are there even though he doesn't say much. You can go to school and spend time with your friends. Simply put, you can be a teenager when you are with your father.



On the other hand, when you are living with your mom, you have taken on the role of mother and that is her job. What is she doing while you are home being the mom? She is being terribly unfair to you and she needs to be a parent. If you decide to move back to your mother's , you need to tell her that you will be there for her, but you will not be giving up going to school and becoming the stay at home mom. That is her job. You need to be clear on all of this or you will fall back into the 'horrible" situation that you were in before. Your focus should be on school and not parenting.



I understand that being away from your siblings can be hard. Talk to your father and explain how you feel. Tell him that you love him and that you will miss him, but you feel that you are needed at your mother's. Reassure him that you will visit him whenever you can.



(Men always zone out after work, they need time to unwind from their work day).

Answer 2

Have a serious talk with your dad. If you're missing you're mom and siblings he will understand. Tell him there's nothing wrong with him but it's just that you can't stand missing your little brother growing up. We most often regrets the things we never do than those we do.

Answer 3

Just tell your dad that you think that you should be there to help your mom and to be with your brother.He should understand.