Question:
How can I make my life better?
Dennis
2010-09-07 13:15:38 UTC
I'm 18 and have accidently walked into the boring routine life of working in the day and watching tv at night and going to bed. I know it could be worse but i specificly don't want a boring life like this and I have already found myself caught up in it at the age of 18. I have no friends and because of it I'm usually miserable and unfriendly towards other people. I find myself boring and dull. I want to do stuff like go out drinking but I have nobody to go with. My family all think i'm a grumpy git aswel as I make out that I don't want to see anyone or do anything when really I'm just scared to admit that I have no friends. I want to go traveling this year but don't know what to do that will be safe and fun f for an 18 yr old on there own who's not particulary grown up or mature. I no it could be worse but I feel like my young life is slipping away. Any advice other than I'm a pathetic wanka.
Three answers:
Antst
2010-09-07 13:35:15 UTC
You should stop being so hard on yourself... Most people have boring lives and it doesn't even occur to them to want anything more. You're doing well to realize that you do want something more.



My advice is, first of all, don't aim to spend your free time going out drinking. Sure--go out once in a while and have a drink--that is normal and fun, but don't make it a regular habit. Because that's sad and boring. Often people whose only hobby is drinking are unhappy, boring, and don't have many friends.



Second, join a club. I know it might sound a little nerdy, but it will be the best way for you to meet new people. Because often people who are looking to make friends join clubs. The idea is, you do something fun, then you go out and have a drink or barbeque or whatever with the people you meet. The other great thing about clubs is that you often learn a new skill or gain a new interest. This will make you a more interesting person to talk to, it will make you feel better about yourself because you'll be using your brain and challenging yourself, and it will give you something other than work or tv to think about. If you join a club that involves exercise, you'll get in better shape and feel better.



I don't know what clubs are available in your area. If you're lucky, you'll have all kinds of things to choose from (kayaking, running, soccer, a language, knitting, art, French, whatever). If you're not lucky, you'll not have a lot of choice. My advice is, join whatever club is available. Even if the only thing to do is bingo with the old people, do that. You need to get yourself out of the house. If the first club you join doesn't work out, try another one. Remember--you need to be patient. It might take a while before you get into the acitivity. The bottom line is, try any activity that is available, even if the people seem weird or you don't know if you'll be interested in the activity. Trying new things will make you a more interesting person and it will make you feel like the world is a more interesting place. Eventually you'll find something you like.



If you're in the USA, look up "meetup.com". It is an organization that people can join for free. People set up events--anything from chocolate-making to soccer to seeing the ballet--that others can sign up to attend. Sometimes the events are free, sometimes there's a fee for equipment or tickets.



The other thing to do is volunteer. Help out at the local old people's home or homeless shelter. Or clean up the park. You'll meet other volunteers that way.



Look on the noticeboards at your local coffee shop or gym for local events. They are often advertised on these noticeboards. Go alone if you have no one to go with.



My final piece of advice is, I know what it is like to be in your position. I have moved a lot and it can be tough to meet people. What you need to do is keep trying. You won't have immediate success. You might find that the people you run into at first are not your kind of people. Or maybe they don't want/need more friends. Or maybe they'll be jerks. You need to not give up. Remember--there are a lot of great people out there and the only way to meet them is to make an effort. So no matter how hard it is to make friends, keep trying. It is hard for almost everyone. Good luck!



PS--everyone is afraid about travel at first. When you have enough money, book your ticket to an English-speaking country (that will be easiest for your first time) and do it, no matter how scared you are. You'll be fine and you'll love it.
?
2016-10-01 02:40:28 UTC
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?
2010-09-07 13:25:50 UTC
get some hobbies

and maybe you can find people that like the same things

and hopefully make friends to do stuff with


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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