My Fiance is addicted to World of Warcraft and stuff...?

Question

My bf and i have been dating for a little over a year now. He admitted at the very beginning of our relationship that he has lost his ex gf's to video games and that he is trying to cut back on it for me. Ever since thanksgiving in vegas (with my family and his) he has been playing WOW more than ever! I talked to him about it and i told him I don't want to lose him to the game and I don't want him to stop playing completely. So now he only plays it when he gets back from work if I'm not home or if I'm studying.

Now, you may think this is a good deal, but he was always telling me how he wants to start his own computer store and go back to school so he can do so. He also wants to become supervisor at his work (which i think he's getting pretty close to). Well... how can he do any of that when he's home playing WOW on his days off and spending money on things to make the graphics on his computer faster and better, or spending it on more games. He even called in sick this week twice (after his days off) to play WOW all day (even though on the first day he called in sick he said it's because he wanted to spend time with me, and i thought, why not do it this Saturday instead of a school day for me? btw, his days off are Tuesday and Wednesday.)
It just kinda bothers me that instead of doing something to make his dreams come true, he's doing almost nothing. And I'm worried about his health too. He'll have days where he'll drink whole milk throughout the day without eating anything. He's 25 and doesn't need to drink whole milk but that's one thing he won't change (and i respect it). He needs real food too...

Other than that, I love him so much and I know he loves me cause of other stuff he does for me.
I need help. How can i get him to start doing something about his life (and maybe even our life together) and not some fiction character's life? I know I can't change him, but there's gotta be something...

p.s. i'm almost done with college and want to move to vegas with him, but he's gotta start saving money so we can do so cause i've got stuff to pay after college...

Thanks!

Answer 1

Well.... I am gonna take an entirely different approach to this. My fiance is also a WoW addict. He is a soldier in the U.S. Army as well, so job responsibility is not an issue with him. There is no calling in sick to play video games in the Army. I hear of so many couples that struggle over this. You know what I did? Don't laugh now.. I joined him! Never was a gamer in my entire life. I got on one of the free trials before I even told him about it. Played it and ended up getting hooked to. (Whoopsie). I told him about it, thinking he would think I was being stupid, but he was ecstatic. He got all excited about teaching me and helping me, it ended up turning into something that we do together on those nights we just stay home. We still go out together, usually weekend nights. I am also a stay at home Mom, working on my degree via online courses. My biggest thing is letting him be him. This is what he loves. And when I checked it out myself, I could see why. People may talk about their dreams and goals, and if they really really want it, they will go after them. You have to decide what you are willing to put up with and what you are not. You can't change a person, and it is the nagging that drives the wedge into relationships, not the video game. Try just leading by example and let him know that you love and support him no matter how ambitious he is. The intensity of the game does eventually wear off. They probably won't stop playing completely, but it does come and go. Love him as he is... if you can't, then maybe you have some thinking to do.

Answer 2

Oh wow you are he mirror image of me and my fiance!

Im 25 this year and he is 23, were getting married in nov - and all he does is played the latest internet game! drives me wild coz i wanna go out and be social with our other couple friends and he would rather just glue his eyes to the screen in a world full of pixels and funny lights!

I cant help much with the days off but if YOU want to drasticly do something it woujd benefit him more by first on your own sitting down and creating a weekly routine that shows from monday to sunday what MUST be done and with HIS help.

Wether thats work from 9 - 5 or housework or even an invite with some friends the only way will be to set him straight and say these are the times you will BOTH be busy for these reasons and only when that time slot comes up or a certain day then and only then will you be happy to let him play.

Its tough but my fiance has learnt that when im around its OUR time and there arent much arguments after that - i even listen to some of his stories of how he killed an entire clan of enemy warlords (or something weird like that!) and life goes on from there - talk it through, lay the rules down and say it will NOT be on when your living together, a marriage will be teamworm between you and him not him and the computer!

Goodluck!!!

Answer 3

Some years ago my sister was dating this dude who constantly played an online game Final Fantasy (real similar to WoW). Instead of taking her out on the weekends, he was playing that. When she wasn't around, he was playing FF. He was a good guy, smart enough to do almost anything - but instead of following through on any plans he invested a lot of time into his character.



Those types of video games never end in anything good unless the player, your man, stops playing it. Those games are addictive - and I'm not joking.



Now I'm not saying video games are bad, because damn I love them. But they have their place. And I can tell you, for sure, that calling off of work for WoW is neither a legitimate nor responsible thing to do (especially if he wants a promotion).



I'm 24 and telling you this. Your b/f needs to get his head on straight.



How to go about it? That's tough. If you come on the offense, which is the only way for you to go about the situation, he'll get defensive - especially because it's his crack you're trying to take away.



Here's how I would go about it with a dude. Be serious, lay out the facts and guide the guy to make a conclusion on it (the conclusion that you want) - he should see that you are concerned so bringing up your feelings should be secondary in the conversation to the facts. He has these plans, and you want to see them happen for him, but WoW is consuming a large portion of his time, time that can be spent getting his **** together.

Answer 4

It sounds like he needs a bit of time to just relax after a long day. Relaxation that somehow doesn't end. Advice-meet him halfway, by joining WoW, and being an online buddy. After a fixed amount of time help him get out, and back to reality with housework. At some point he'll see what you are going through and see how you work to meet him halfway, and should be more helpful. Its easy to get sucked into that game, and other mindless activities.

Answer 5

WOW...alright...that's a really complicated situation...You must talk to him, discuss about this situation calmly...remind him that he wanted to do something with his life but he won't be able to do that if he keeps on acting this way. How does he expect to move on if he can get read of his video games obsession becoz yes he is a videogamecoholic now and this is really a crisis. Invite him to diner, talk to him, b serious don't laugh, be sincere, scare him if u have to...that's the only solution, make him realize all he is about to loose...best of luck